Spare Me Page #2

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THEO:

You guys got something going on

downstairs?

SID:

We provide some extracurricular

activities for the senior citizens in the

community.

THEO:

Basement bingo?

Breeze sniggers into his hand

SID:

(smirks)

Yeah, basement bingo.

BREEZE:

Lemme see your ball.

Breeze grabs Theo's bag.

THEO:

Let go of my bag.

Sid sidles around behind Theo who tries to keep him in sight.

BREEZE:

Ah, come on, lemme see your ball.

SID:

You afraid we're gonna steal it?

Breeze unzips the bag and pulls the ball out. Theo's temper

is rising, he breathes deeply. He is obviously making a

Herculean effort to keep himself in check.

THEO:

I said, let go of my bag.

With lightning speed Theo's hand shoots out and grabs the

middle fingers on Sid's right hand. Sid howls in agony.

SID:

Aagh! Stop! Those are my bowling fingers!

THEO:

Tell your little pal to let go.

SID:

Breeze, give him his ball back!

Breeze, astonished, drops Theo's ball into the bag. Sid

cringes in front of Theo.

THEO:

Where can I find Buzz Fazeli?

BREEZE:

Whoa, cool your maples. Over the bridge,

past the Peter Pan, last house on the

dead end. Theo releases Sid's hand. Sid

drops to his knees and cradles his

damaged hand.

BREEZE:

Haven't seen a ball like that since '69.

THEO:

It belonged to my dad.

Theo turns and walks out.

10 EXT. WOODS - NIGHT 10

JUNIOR, a dumpy man in his late thirties with a rat tail, bad

skin and wearing a white straitjacket and fluorescent orange

pants, runs desperately through dark woods. Bloodhounds BARK

in the distance.

11 EXT. ROAD - NIGHT 11

Theo drives over the draw-bridge and past the Peter Pan Diner

with its huge neon sign.

12 EXT. DEAD END STREET 12

Theo's car pulls up in front of a modest suburban house. A

rooftop weather vane in the shape of a bowler CREAKS

ominously in the wind.

13 EXT. BUZZ'S HOUSE 13

Theo rings the doorbell. The porch light comes on, and

MILLIE, a fifty-five year-old woman dressed for a night on

the town in Reno, but with fuzzy slippers and a hairnet,

opens the door. A miniscule neurotic poodle leaps at Theo's

bowling ball bag, YAPPING and snapping at it.

THEO:

Is Mr. Fazeli in please?

MILLIE:

Who wants to know?

(to dog)

Zeus!

THEO:

I'm a bowler.

MILLIE:

I'm sick of you people. Why don't you

leave him be?

BUZZ (OS)

Let him in, Millie. And don't frisk him.

14 INT. BUZZ'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM 14

Millie and Theo, with Zeus hot on his trail, enter the room.

BUZZ FAZELI, a sixty-five year-old man shaped a lot like a

compressed bowling pin, slouches in a recliner. The room is

decorated with trophies of Buzz's bygone pro-bowling halcyon

days.

MILLIE:

Oh sure. Let everyone in. From now on I

leave the door wide open. Let the parade

begin!

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