Spaceballs script
Spaceballs (1987)
Synopsis: In a distant galaxy, planet Spaceball has depleted its air supply, leaving its citizens reliant on a product called "Perri-Air." In desperation, Spaceball's leader President Skroob (Mel Brooks) orders the evil Dark Helmet (Rick Moranis) to kidnap Princess Vespa (Daphne Zuniga) of oxygen-rich Druidia and hold her hostage in exchange for air. But help arrives for the Princess in the form of renegade space pilot Lone Starr (Bill Pullman) and his half-man, half-dog partner, Barf (John Candy).

SANDURZ Within the hour, sir.

HELMET Well, I hope it's a long ceremony, 'cause it's gonna be a

short honeymoon. (takes a drink of coffee) Mmmmmmm, mmmmmm, mmmmmm.

SANDURZ hits his back. HELMET spits out coffee and his mask falls

down. HELMET (mask down) Hot! Too hot!

PLANET DRUIDIA - EXT. CHAPLE - DAY Sign reads, "Today, the

Royal Wedding of Princess Vespa to Prince Valium. Tomorrow,


INT. CHAPLE - DAY The USHER is fixing something on KING ROLAND'S

outfit. PRINCESS VESPA is pacing.

ROLAND Oh, if only your mother were alive to see this day. All

right, is everyone ready?

USHER Yes, your majesty.

VESPA No! Where's my droid of honor?

USHER Oh dear, yes. Where's Dot? Dot? Dot Matrix? Oh, thank god.

Where've you been?

DOT Here I am. I'm sorry. I had to make a pit stop. I'm so excited,

I couldn't hold my oil.

USHER All right, people. It's magic time.

ROLAND All right, everyone, starting on the left foot. (puts his

right foot out)

VESPA Daddy that's your right foot.

ROLAND It's too late. Keep going.

They start walking down the aisle. The organ is playing "Here

Comes the Bride."

VESPA (stops) Daddy.

Organ player stops.

VESPA Must I go through with this.

ROLAND I'm sorry, my dear, you have to.

They start walking again. The organ starts up again.

VESPA (stops) But, daddy.

Organ stops again.

VESPA I don't love him.

ROLAND I'm sorry, Vespa, he's the last prince left in the galaxy.

VALIUM yawns. They reach the altar.

MINISTER Dearly beloved, we are gathered here on this most joyous

occasion, to witness Princess Vespa, daughter of King Roland....

VESPA starts running toward the door, while Dot is dragging behind.

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Mel Brooks

Melvin James Brooks is an American actor, comedian, filmmaker, composer and songwriter. He is known as a creator of broad film farces and comic parodies. more…

All Mel Brooks scripts | Mel Brooks Books

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"Spaceballs" STANDS4 LLC, 2018. Web. 19 Feb. 2018. <>.

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