South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut Page #3

CARTMAN'S MOTHER

Look, Eric it's your little friends.

CARTMAN:

What the hell are you guys doing here?

IKE:

Baba turtre bad!

Kyle holds up the newspaper ad.

CARTMAN:

Ooh!

EXT. SOUTH PARK AVENUE

Now all four boys are merrily walking down the street and

singing.

BOYS:

We're going to the movies

To see the better side of life!

CARTMAN:

Maybe there'll be pirates!

Or a whole city burnin'!

Maybe we'll see a monster

Or, better yet, Uma Thurman!

BOYS:

We're going to the movies!

Everything's gonna be okay!

The boys skip out of frame.

EXT. MOVIE THEATRE - DAY

The movie theatre is nestled neatly between two other South

Park buildings.

The boys walk up to the geeky, teenage TICKET GUY.

BOYS:

Going to the movies!

The movies today!!!!!

STAN:

Can I get five tickets to Terrance and

Phillip Asses of Fire, please?

TICKET GUY:

No.

Suddenly, all the happy music that has permeated the film

comes to an ABRUPT HALT.

The boys look confused.

KYLE:

What'dya mean, no?

TICKET GUY:

Terrance and Phillip Asses of Fire is

rated 'R'. You kids can't get in.

The boys look shocked. They just stand there, in silence.

CARTMAN:

The hell we can't! My money is just as

good as any white person's!

TICKET GUY:

You have to be accompanied by a parent or

guardian.

KYLE:

But why?

TICKET GUY:

Because this movie has naughty language,

and it might make you kids start using

bad words.

CARTMAN:

Listen you son of a b*tch, if you don't

let us in to see this movie I'm gonna

kick you square in the nuts.

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