Soul Plane Page #2

Oh, for the love of--

But the good news is | we've been able to find

another airline that can | accommodate you this evening.

Would you be interested | in another airline?

- Even Dad thinks you're cute. | - Get off me!

- You're such a whore. | - What did you say?

Did I stutter?

There you are.

Four tickets for flight 069 | on NWA.

What you're going to want to do | is go to Gate One--

that's Terminal X--and we'll send | your luggage on down for you.

- Thank you for your help. | - You're quite welcome.

- Good luck. | - Thanks.

Hey, sweetie.

Don't get it greasy. | It's very expensive.

I know, I bought it.

Now, a gentleman always | carries a lady's bags.

- So why are you carrying hers? | - Be kind, son.

If I play my cards right, | she'll be your future mother figure.

That's scary.

Ooh, hey, sweetie. | Wait a minute.

Don't look back | and not say anything.

Excuse me. | You got to move, lady.

Baby, come here. | Gimme a second.

Girl, you must not know | who I am.

Nashawn Wade, baby. | I own NWA. The boss.

Where the hell is Terminal X?

Relax, honey. Didn't we just have | a great vacation in Crackerland?

No, we didn't-- | give me that stupid hat. Leave it!

You know what would've | been great? Going to Hawaii alone.

Listen, you know the deal.

I only get to see my kids | every other weekend.

Billy, where's your sister?

She's that way.

Great.

Heather, you can't just | walk away from the family.

If you want to go somewhere, | you gotta ask permission first.

Dad, I'm 18 years old.

Sorry.

She's 17. You are 17.

Fine. For a couple more hours. | I am 17, and then I'll be 18.

Then I can party and have sex.

- Sex?! No, no. | - Yeah, sex.

Missionary, doggie-style, | rockin' the baby,

gettin' tea-bagged,

playin' the trombone | while I'm tossin' his salad,

hand jobs, ear jobs, | blow jobs.

Gettin' a pearl necklace, | ridin' the bologna pony...

- sucking-- | - That's enough!

- Did she say bologna? | - I don't know.

...whenever I want, and best of all, | I won't have to listen to you.

Can you believe that?

What came after | getting tea-bagged?

Something about the trombone.

Okay, everybody, | congratulations!

You guys have been punk'd!

There's cameras everywhere, | right, son?

We'll be back in five minutes | with the release forms.

Let's go.

Oh, sh*t! Awesome!

- Terminal Malcolm X? | - Yeah.

Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles. | Usually you gotta go to two places,

- but there you get the one-- | - This is a terminal?

It's great, 99 cents. Everything.

Oh, check out the car.

This place has every-- | there's a basketball court.

In your face!

Get your short ass on, | you leprechaun.

Look like my ex-- | short and stupid.

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