Something Beneath Page #2

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of something. It's okay, Eugene. No one ever died

from public speaking. Found your room yet?

[inhales] Well, everything seems

to be off to a good start. Oh, right. Sorry.

[yips] Oh, yeah. I'll get her dog

back to her. [inhaler rattling] [inhaler hisses softly]

[inhales] We're all going to die! [coughing] We're all going to die! You're gonna die and you. And, oh, we both know

you're gonna die. Unless we do-- unless-- unless-- Where am I? Unless we take immediate action to reverse the damage

we're doing to the envirody-- envirody-- environment, humanity as a species is-- is doomed! Be afraid,

ladies and gentlemen. Be very afraid. [coughing] That wasn't so bad. Kind of liked it. Thanks, tree,

you're always there for me. Oh, oh, perfect. I can just see myself

at the podium, shaking the hands of

a Nobel Prize winning biologist and I smear black goo

all over him. I'm such a loser. Why am I even here? [inhales] [thunderclap] [thunderclap] Hello? Is anybody there? [thunderclap] I think I took a wrong turn. [inhales] [thunderclap] Is anyone else here? [thunderclap]

Hello? [creature snarling] Hello? [thunderclap] [inhales] [thunder rumbling] [creature shrieking] [screaming] Help! Oh, boy. Sheik Abdullah

requires halal meal service. Halal, that's just

like kosher, right?

I guess. Some sort of weird diet plan refrigeration made irrelevant

a million years ago. My sister-in-law

still keeps kosher. Oh. Hey, can you believe

that globe-trotting he-man is a priest? Father Douglas Middleton,

whoa, that's just-- A total waste of man flesh. I was going to say creepy. And Miss Strovsky

with the little dog, is that Mikaela Strovsky from the cover of

Vanity Fair last month? Yes, and interview

with Vogue, one notorious

layout in Hustler. Oh. Why creepy? You haven't had

a, you know, bad experience with

a priest, have you? God, no. I mean, no. They've all been

perfectly lovely. It's just,

I don't know. Priests, nuns, rabbis, they just make me

self-conscious, you know? Like, did I just take

the Lord's name in vain? Are my pants too tight? I'm gonna go break

the news to the chef. They're a little tight. I am way, way too cute

to be out in the wilderness on a stupid conference. Like, environmental

people are really ugly. Is she talking

to herself? And my room is

about this big, and there is no

spa at this hotel. Oh, ah, either that, or she's

having a philosophical debate with her laptop. I'm not sure

which is worse.

Neither am I. But if the dog

answers her back, that might be

pretty entertaining. Say my dinner date

bailed on me tonight. Any chance I can talk

you into joining me? Me? Mm-hmm.

[stammering]

Oh, I don't-- Oh, the food here

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