Social Nightmare

Save yourself now,

because I am so drunk.

Do it!

No.

Do it!

No. No way.

It's yummy.

It's like lemonade.

No way.

You're never gonna make it through

college if you can't chug.

I can chug. I chugged

at Aaron Fink's party.

Oh, Aaron Fink's party

in middle school,

where you drank

all the root beer

until you barfed

in the rec room?

It totally counts.

Really?

And it was cute.

That's a memory of you

that I will treasure forever.

I'm so drunk,

hammered.

Hallelujah.

Wow, maybe I'm so

drunk I can fly.

You guys think I can fly?

Should really

stay away from this stuff.

I drink, like, this much,

and I'm, like, whoo.

Okay.

That's a good one.

Oh, nice.

Very sexy.

Come in.

All right, girlies.

Time to wrap it up.

You have school tomorrow.

Oh. Hey, Daniel.

Hi, Ms. Hardy.

Didn't realize

you were still here.

How's your sister doing?

Uh, good. Thanks.

Good.

Cat, you have boys over,

door's open, okay?

Sorry, Mom.

Do you have any Coke,

Mrs. Hardy?

Yeah, but it's a little

late for caffeine.

It's a school night.

Mom, two of our friends

already got

their college

acceptance letters,

and that means ours

are coming next.

It probably is, but I'd love

to see you graduate

high school first.

Come on, guys.

It's getting late.

We'll wrap it up soon,

Mrs. Hardy.

Thanks.

Okay.

Uh, good night,

Mrs. Hardy.

Okay, okay.

Good night.

Sorry. Mom's a mom.

Yeah, I should probably be getting

out of here pretty soon anyway.

Are you okay?

Uh...

Come here.

Okay. B-Bye, guys.

It's fine. Don't worry about me.

I'm just gonna...

just gonna hang out right here.

Did I do something wrong?

No. No. Uh...

it's Joan.

Cool.

Her birth mother's been calling

and asking to meet her.

And that's bad?

Joan doesn't know

she's adopted.

Nobody does,

besides family and...

and you.

It's none of my business,

but maybe it's

time to tell her.

No. No, no.

You... You can't

tell her anything.

No, I won't.

Okay?

That's not what I meant.

She's gone through enough,

you know?

Things are

tough enough for her.

Now, this... this woman

gave Joan away.

She doesn't want her.

She just...

She just wants

to come in her life

and ruin it

for my sister again.

You're a good brother.

Thanks.

And a good boyfriend.

Eww.

I'm gonna send you

something tonight, hmm?

Mm-mm.

Something to cheer you up.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

What?

Well...

You're right.

Mm-hmm.

I already do like it.

That's just the first in a series.

Oh, a series.

Yeah.

Hey, now,

I'm just a little bear.

I know.

You're a very sexy bear,

though.

No, you're sexy.

Oh, me? I'm sexy?

Oh, stop it.

Oh, this is fun.

Good morning, sunshine.

Oh, not yet!

Come on, Kitty Cat.

Today's the big election.

You don't want

to have to accept office

with bags under your eyes.

Cat?

Is that Daniel's cologne I smell

in there?

We weren't doing anything

crazy, Mom, just kissing.

Just be careful.

Well, you're

a very sensitive girl,

and you know how boys can be.

Mm-hmm.

Getting physical

for them doesn't always

mean the same thing to

them as it does to us.

Just ask your father,

for example.

Here we go.

Are you listening to me?

Mom, look.

Did you just hear

anything that I said?

Yes. Look.

You haven't been up

three minutes,

and you're already online.

I've been promising Em

I'd post this for months.

Okay, go!

Am I going first?

Yeah.

Okay.

Ha ha!

I'm nervous.

Gah!

Okay, we did it!

You two are so cute.

In AP English, we had to map

out our four-year plans,

and Emily and I have

everything all planned out.

We're gonna do the Brown/RISD

dual-degree program.

You can request the roommate

you want in the dorms,

and we'll be taking the

same dual-degree program,

graphic design and marketing,

which will give us the edge

when we graduate

and start our internships

in New York.

Brown's so far away.

Well, I'll come visit on holidays.

My baby.

What happened to my little girl?

Ohh.

You were only seven pounds, two

ounces when you were born.

Gosh, not the birth story.

You were the most delicate

thing the nurse had ever seen.

You were just like a

little porcelain doll,

this... Ooh.

I gotta go!

This little finger.

Hey!

Sweetheart, I think your

four-year plan sounds great.

Okay. Bye.

Have a good day.

Has the Web had a positive or

negative impact on modern society?

This paper will make up

20% of your final grade,

so for some of you,

that will make

or break your GPA,

so let's put some effort

into it.

This paper will be due

on Wednesday...

Are you ready

to lose to me today?

Never.

It's okay to be a

one-term president, Cat.

History looks kindly on them.

There was Nixon

and George Bush and Taft,

but I think he died.

No way. I'm winning.

Yes, I can.

Yes, I can.

Yes, I can.

Shh. Some of us are

trying to pay attention.

Sorry, Jessica.

Sorry, Jessica.

Was your parents' life better or

worse because of the World Wide Web?

Yes, I can.

In terms of economics,

how has it changed

society, religion?

Put the phone away,

or it is mine!

Let's get to work.

Hey, Em!

I voted for you.

Oh, thank you.

Y-You're hot.

Thank you.

You know what's

more awkward than that?

Mr. Perryman

calling it "the Web. "

Who calls it "the Web"?

Well, I enjoy surfing

the World Wide Web.

Oh, mocking a teacher.

You're like this pink candy

shell on the outside

and like poisonous venom

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