Soccer Killer

Synopsis: In the Song Dynasty, a group of patriots play soccer against the traitor with a team of foreign enemies, royal pro-nobles, bandits, martial arts masters and embrace the country hatred to compete for the first time in the history of China International soccer match.
 
IMDB:
3.9
Year:
2017
100 min
73 Views


Sir, do we open the city gates

for the cuju game or not?

Sir?

Sir?

No way!

Letting the Super Eagles

in will be catastrophic!

We cannot hold this match!

Impossible, sir

Sir, Qiuliang turned Leopard Khan down

and the whole nation was destroyed!

What's going on?

What's that noise from outside?

Run, sir!

Protect our master!

Leopard Khan?

We've got trouble!

Your Majesty! The princess has escaped!

My brother, you have always been weak

The entire country knows that

Prime Minister Qin is a traitor

He is scheming with Leopard Khan

(Emperor Bao'er) to have the Eagle

Claws team hold a match here

They've forced us to put up

half our land as wager

It's outright robbery

I'm not fleeing. I'm on a mission

I will find the masters

of the eight martial arts sects

and ask them to help us

beat the Eagle Claws

(MinisterQin Nu)

Damn your sister!

I set up a marriage between

her and Leopard Khan

so we wouldn't have to play this match

Now that your damn sister's gone missing

Offer land to beg for forgiveness!

Your Majesty

(Senior official Liu Yuen)

the people are resentful

They say the government

is corrupted and incompetent

We cannot give anymore land away.

If we do

Leopard Khan will live

right outside the palace!

Piss off!

If you don't want to give up your land,

then play this match

If you win,

then you can save your country!

Hmph!

Minister Liu!

Are you alright?

Your Majesty!

Your Majesty!

Hurry back, Changping!

ChapterOne

The Phoenix Becomes a Pheasant

Your Highness, this awesome outfit

(Palace servant Ju Yige)

may work in concealing our identities

but it's tiring me out!

(Princess Changping)

To communicate with martial arts masters

we must dress like them

(Palace servant Ya Dahu) Don't you think we

look like the characters in Ashes of Time?

Not at all

All I know is that

I have hair in my mouth

No pain, no gain

Look at the idiots that have been

standing there for four hours

That lightning rod on his head

must weight at least ten kilograms!

(Ling) (Mao Cilang)

When I first laid my eyes on this man

I felt a murderous rage

This murderous rage...

comes from the woman standing

next to him

Your Highness

I think they look more like

real martial arts masters!

They're obviously con artists

Let's go!

Ling

aren't our outfits just awesome?

Even the Ashes of Time girls fear us!

Lang

you do look pretty awesome!

But, if I may ask...

what is my outfit supposed to be?

The invincible East!

Lang

then what about the board on your head?

You don't keep up with fashion trends?

This is the all-powerful,

dashing leader of the Mystic Dragon Cult!

Huh!

Ling

can you do me a favor?

Ask away!

My head itches!

Still itchy?

Thanks!

Sir

Mr. Wang from the archives told me that

the princess took the criminal records of

the eight sect leaders with her

What?

Prime Minister!

Prime Minister!

I think the princess will seek the

help of the eight sect leaders!

So what?

They're all kung fu masters

I'm afraid that...

I'm not afraid of them!

Words of wisdom, Prime Minister!

Very well!

This is what we'll do!

Bring on the eight sects!

A young maiden of 18 is like a flower...

A flower

Curvy eyebrows and big round eyes...

Abbess Miejue

The Phoenix Dances in the Nine Heavens!

The Red Leaves Fall!

Defeating a Thousand Soldiers!

Sliced Cucumbers and Radish!

IamGuo Huaqiang,

leader of the Mount Hua Sect

also known as the Sword Master

I can't believe I have to

slave away in this kitchen

and spend my days with that

tone-deafZhang Sanfeng!

(Guo Huaqiang)

Stretch!

L, Zhang Sanfeng

will use the most gentle form

of the Ying Yang Palm

With its vigorous inner power

I will extract a thousand threads

of tender love forAbbess Mie Jue

and create noodles of yearning!

(Zhang Shanfeng)

Genius!

The eight martial arts sect leaders

working in a kitchen! Exactly!

They're no grandmasters!

Maybe they're spies! Shut up!

They're more like master chefs!

What're you talking about!

Behave yourself!

Keep your mouth shut!

Hey! You got a death wish?!

I hired those waiters upstairs

and I hired you lot, too

They're already done several

rounds of service

And you?

You haven't even finished

one round of laundry!

Do you all want to go

back to the nunnery? Huh?

Ying Don't touch me!

To be honest

If it wasn't for those useless,

corrupted imperial officials

hadn't make our troupe go out of work

we wouldn't be working as fake nuns

Cut up some slack

If it wasn't for that corrupted

Minister Qin

would we have ended up here?

Spare me!

Your Kong Tong Sect Seven Harms Fist

will be the end of me!

I just asked you to grind the stone

Why did you have to smash it

with your chest?

(Shi Tianjing)

If you want to grind a gem stone

then use a grinding machine!

Smashing rocks with our chests is

all the Kong Tong Sect can do!

How dare you talk back to me?!

Sir!

Who is it?!

Can you give me a chance?

(Yi Feilun)

lamYi Feilun, leader of the Kunlun Sect

Don't worry,

the Kunlun Sect does not quibble

Give me a chance, sir Stop!

You win, OK?

I want nothing to do with

you kung fu masters anymore

It's my fault, OK?

Consider it charity. Keep the change!

Don't pick it up!

Who is that?

Qing Song, from Qingcheng Sect!

Yi Feilun!

Where's your dignity?!

(Qing Song)

My wife is in the hospital,

but I can't afford her treatment

The government flattened

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Jeffrey Lau

Jeffrey Lau Chun-Wai (simplified Chinese: 刘镇伟; traditional Chinese: 劉鎮偉; pinyin: Liú Zhènwěi; born 2 August 1952) is a Hong Kong film director, screenwriter, actor and producer. Lau is famous for writing and directing "mo lei tau" comedies. His comedies include A Chinese Odyssey (with Stephen Chow) and Chinese Odyssey 2002, the latter which was voted Best 2002 Film by the Hong Kong Film Critics Society. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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