Smokey and the Bandit II Page #2

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But you've got to be straight

for two minutes. That's all I need.

Want a picture of me? Only 50 cents apiece.

- You can have one for nothing.

- Hello.

Fellows. No. Get back in here.

When we get in there,

let me do the talking.

Okay, fellows. Come on in.

Now, he's meditating.

Don't talk to him much.

Don't run off, Bandit. This is a sweet deal.

$200,000 just to bring a package

from Florida to Dallas.

That's what I said: $200,000.

I don't think he's interested.

- What does it take to keep this man erect?

- A different set of figures.

How much more do you want?

Four. $400,000.

You got it. Is it a deal?

I'll check with him.

- Got a deal.

- Okay. Don't get up, Bandit.

I gotta go now,

but I'll see you back in Texas.

- And here's the number of the crate.

- Wait a minute.

He wants to say something else.

Right.

If he doesn't get at least half the money,

he may become very violent.

Give him the money, Little Enos.

I'd like to kick his ass just once.

Come on. Let's go.

He's overdue for

a good butt-kicking.

Look at that.

Do you realize we can start a bank?

That's more money than I've seen

in one time in my life!

You're crying. We got the money.

What are you crying...

I was just thinking about Frog.

I really wish it could've worked for you two.

I'm ready!

Don't hurt the money.

I don't need anybody!

Okay.

You think I ain't ready, son?

You just watch my smoke.

Daddy, come on.

You're gonna be late for my wedding.

Sumbitch.

- Good morning, Sheriff.

- Good morning, nice lady.

You must be mighty proud

of that wonderful son you got.

Let me tell you something.

Junior's nothing but a big mound

of tick turd.

Imagine. Trying to marry that floozy

for a second time.

You know, if Junior is able to

get up in the morning...

tie his shoelaces and take a pee...

- I'm not proud. I'm amazed.

- I declare.

I didn't realize this floozy was the same one

as the last one.

But I do remember all that trouble,

that poor child being abducted...

and taken off by that

handsome devil, Bandit.

Sheriff, is that your radio acting up?

No, that ain't my radio.

It's my hemo-gauge that's beeping.

This hemo-gauge and that exercise...

was invented in a monastery by a couple

of Tibetan monks.

They live in Newark now.

And just lucky enough,

I saw the advertisement in Screw magazine.

So I sent away for it. Cost me $19.95.

That's just wonderful, Sheriff.

I guess that makes it easier for you...

to deal with that business

about your daughter-in-law to be...

running off with that gorgeous,

handsome Bandit.

Daddy?

Come on. You're gonna be late.

Sumbitch.

My dear friends, you have

come together in this church...

so that the Lord

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