Simple Creature

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1

Essentially, genetic engineering

is selecting the

best of what we can be.

Not tampering at all.

But that's what we're talking

about. If we were able to recode

DNA, DNA that once altered,

would pass its defenses

permanently to its offspring,

think of the health

costs we could save

if we had a read-out

that showed when, I don't know,

our blood sugar

levels were too high

or sodium levels, or whatever.

Businesses would save

billions a year

because employees

wouldn't need sick leave.

Actually... Maybe

progress is bad.

This is unorthodox.

Friend of a friend's rumspringa.

I thought you said

he was a quaker.

Yeah, that's what I said.

Rumspringa's amish.

We're all doing kickstands...

One of my best friends...

[(Indistinguishable

chatter continues]

Hey, can I get a beer?

Uh, yeah sure.

Seth

did you want it in your hands?

Umm, is there

the option for a cup, or?

I mean, we had cups...

Um... Well where's your cup?

I'm just in charge of

distribution for tonight.

The responsible one. Respect.

Irregardless,

it's my lot in life.

Ah, but irregardless means

regardless,

and there's no such

thing as the former.

Ahahahah, holy sh*t.

Uh, impressive. Hi.

Hi.

Seth.

Em.

Em... Is that short for

Emily?

Normal length for em, actually.

This is, um,

interesting music for

a rite of passage party.

What would make

you think that was the case?

My friend, rach, over there.

Making out with

six guys over there.

Oh yeah, she's very, uh...

Kind...

She's a... social...

Yeah, social... Nice person.

So is it rach, or...

Rachel, actually.

Nice to check

in with that though.

So what kind of music did you

think we'd be playing,

like cat Stevens?

Yes, I love cat Stevens.

Why isn't there

cat Stevens? Now I'm, now

I'm a little disappointed that

there's not cat Stevens.

No, he's great.

I'm more into

like classical music.

Pachelbel's canon,

stuff like that.

The... That's the

wedding song, right, the...?

Yeah, yes, exactly.

Very nice. I used to be able

to play that on the piano

when I was like, eight.

And super grammar nerd, awesome.

Nah, this is sort of just like a

regular party with, like,

good old farm boys.

Farm boys.

Jacob over there, he's

actually like a real quaker.

He's even got like

the lamb chops to prove it.

Oh yeah?

And his name is Jacob.

That's freakin' perfect.

So I gotta head

back to my truck to...

Okay.

Get another keg.

It was nice meeting you.

Um... There

might be more cups in the cab

if you're still interested.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Picture me rollin'.

Okay. Truck's on.

What next?

Okay, now by your left foot,

there's the parking brake.

It's kinda sticky.

Okay, hold on.

Ahaha, okay, wow.

- That?

- Huh, uh, yes.

'Kay.

Okay. Is your

foot on the brake?

Mm hmm,

we're not rolling, are we?

No. Okay.

All good.

All right, now

take your left foot and press

down on the clutch.

'Kay.

And put it into gear.

All right.

And now just release the

clutch slowly and...

Lightly tap on the gas.

Hahahaha

sh*t. I'm sorry.

Oh, no sweat.

I should probably

get back with the keg anyways.

But uh, yeah, thanks.

I said sorry.

No, I mean

thanks for hangin' out with

a fellow teetotaler tonight.

It was fun, even

if it was just for a short time.

Well maybe we

can extend it to another day.

Yeah, I have, uh, class a lot,

but the weekend would work.

What's, uh, what's your cell?

I don't have one.

I have a land line, with

protruding buttons and stuff.

Wow.

Here. You can write it down

with this antiquated gadget.

I call a pen.

Oh, you don't

have a quill or anything?

Uh, no. It's way too messy.

Thank you.

Yeah. I'll bring

a cat Stevens tape

for your fancy tape deck.

Hi, this is em.

Em, it's me. Or, uh,

Seth from the other night.

Hi, I didn't know

if I'd hear from you or not.

I have to cancel our

plans this Saturday.

Okay.

My dad, he, he had a stroke.

Oh my god. Are you all...

Is there anything

I can do? Are you all right?

I don't think so. My

mom's having a tough time, so...

I'm so sorry.

Jesus, um... Look, I

lost my mom when I was little,

so if there's anything

you want to talk about.

Okay, um, we're

praying for a good recovery.

Listen, I gotta go.

The doctor's out now.

He just wants to

chat with me and mom.

Okay.

Thanks

bye.

Whazzup.

Disen-f***ing-Gage dude!

Just a second!

You b*tch!

You're missing actual life.

You ready to go home now?

I'm so ready.

([Followed by somber strings)

Mixed with somber music

hi.

Hey, I'm sorry. It's just

it's been a long, long day.

My mom had me do

a bunch of stuff for her.

Coulda' texted.

Forgot to turn

the damn thing on again.

Have you even used

it once since I got it for you?

Has she thought

any more about selling the farm?

I don't know

where she's at with that, em.

Like I don't think she's in the

right place for that right now.

I, I mean she probably just

thinks it's disloyal to my dad.

Well, but it's not.

It wouldn't be giving up.

You're gonna kill us.

Thought about,

you know, doin' anything else?

Bills first. Then figure out

how to conquer the world.

Unless you're insinuating

I go to school with you.

Get me one

of them higher educations.

Yeah.

I'm gonna have all of my

pieces end up here eventually.

Nice. You shake it harder,

you get bigger numbers.

Oh, I'll have to try that.

I was thinking

of going to seminary.

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