Shrink Page #2

- We got to get a soap guy in here.

- I'll do it over lunch.

Yeah, but Dave Levine is using that soap.

Do you know how many pros he's been with?

- Yeah.

- Disgusting.

You know what?

Let's just buy some soap.

- Done.

- Lots of soap.

Liquid, antibacterial, hospital grade.

It's going to be my soap.

Private collection.

That's how we're doing it.

What else you got?

Hit me.

I wore gloves.

Okay. You need to send

Michael Burns and his goomah

a "thank you" note for dinner

last Friday evening.

- Why?

- Because it's good manners.

Listen, I need you to go...

No, get a guy.

Find a guy, like an intern or something.

And I need him to go to this place

and take a sh*t on that guy's doorstep.

Wow, are you...

Are you serious?

Yeah.

Listen, I know you're knocked up,

but let's show a little hustle on that soap.

And get that guy to sh*t on that doorstep.

That is mission critical.

Hey, Jack, would you mind

if we switched our appointment

next week to 5:
00...

All right, then, forget about it.

You think I'm a sex addict?

No, I think you might be an alcoholic.

Now, I'm a functioning alcoholic.

Yeah, we've talked about this, Jack.

That's a very misleading term.

In my day, I balled

a lot of chicks, you know.

The stories are true.

Yeah, I know,

you've been sexually active, yes.

Damn right I was active.

Wow, it was amazing.

Then I got married ten years ago.

Promised to give all that up, you know.

Hung up my spurs.

Put the pony in the paddock.

Yeah, you might also put it

that you made a commitment.

Yeah. I did.

No more chasing strange,

no more French wrestling.

Do you love your wife?

God, I love Susan.

She's amazing.

She's f***ing incredible.

Make's me harder than Chinese algebra.

I love my wife.

You know, I love Paris.

I just wouldn't want to live there

the rest of my life.

It's a f***ing addiction, Doc.

I mean that literally.

I'm addicted to f***ing.

I should go to Cock Enders.

- You are not a sex addict.

- Really?

Look, if you are beginning

to have feelings of temptation,

we can find ways for you to cope.

I'm ahead of you on that, Doc, okay?

I think I've found a way to cope

because I got this friend, okay?

We'll call him the Admiral.

He's a world-class cocksman.

When I say "world-class,"

I mean this guy sees more puss

than a litter box.

And, Doc...

I do this thing.

All right.

I call him in the morning

and he tells me what went on

the night before.

Kind of a "coitus discriptus"

kind of thing,

and then I...

you know, butter the corn.

Punch the clown.

A little beef "strokinoff."

You know what I'm saying?

- I got it.

- Yeah.

I mean, that's the disease.

That's the addiction.

That's wrong, right?

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