Shrek Page #4

SHREK:

Now, why don't you go celebrate your

freedom with your own friends? Hmm?

DONKEY:

But, uh, I don't have any friends. And

I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey,

wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll

stick with you. You're mean, green,

fightin' machine. Together we'll scare

the spit out of anybody that crosses

us.

Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very

loudly.

DONKEY:

Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you

don't mind me sayin', if that don't

work, your breath certainly will get

the job done, 'cause you definitely

need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause

you breath stinks! You almost burned

the hair outta my nose, just like the

time...(Shrek covers his mouth but Donkey

continues to talk, so Shrek removes

his hand.) ...then I ate some rotten

berries. I had strong gases leaking

out of my butt that day.

SHREK:

Why are you following me?

DONKEY:

I'll tell you why. (singing) 'Cause

I'm all alone, There's no one here beside

me, My problems have all gone, There's

no one to deride me, But you gotta have

faith...

SHREK:

Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't

have any friends.

DONKEY:

Wow. Only a true friend would be that

cruelly honest.

SHREK:

Listen, little donkey. Take a look at

me. What am I?

DONKEY:

(looks all the way up at Shrek) Uh ...really

tall?

SHREK:

No! I'm an ogre! You know. "Grab your

torch and pitchforks." Doesn't that

bother you?

DONKEY:

Nope.

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