She's the Man Page #2

I'll make the boys soccer team, and in

12 days beat the Cornwall boys team.

You've taken too many

soccer balls to the head.

You know I can do it, Paul.

Except for the voice, mannerisms,

the breasts, the mentality and...

It doesn't matter. Nobody at Illyria

has even met Sebastian.

- They won't know the difference.

- They'll know he's a girl.

- Oh, come on, Paul.

- Yeah, come on, Paul.

Yeah, come on, Paul.

OK. OK. I'll see what I can do.

Yes!

Where are you going?

Mom, I told you!

I'm going to Dad's house for two weeks.

No, you didn't. And you're not going.

We've hardly spent

any time together this summer.

Now go upstairs and unpack.

OK, Mom, I thought about what you said.

And you know Monique is gonna

be there 24l7 with Sebastian,

so, I don't know, I was just thinking

that maybe she'd show me the ropes

on the whole debutante thing.

- This is so exciting!

- Isn't it?!

You're gonna have so much fun.

There's the formal ball.

And the luncheon.

And, oh, did I mention

the fundraiser next week?

It's gonna be a carnival!

Look out!

Your brother promised to be there,

so remind him when you see him.

Oh, my little girl.

You're finally gonna be a lady!

Are you sure I can do this?!

Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

What's up?

Oh, my God, he knew!

- I wanna go home!

- Relax. He was being friendly!

We're not going home! Stop it!

I did not spend all this time...

- It's your fault! Drive home!

- My idea?! You asked me!

- I did your hair and makeup!

- Reverse!

- I want to go!

- You're being a girl!

- We're not going.

- Come on! Drive!

- He was being friendly.

- All right!

Let's run through it one more time.

Let me hear the voice.

Hey. What's up? I'm Sebastian.

OK. Now show me the strut.

Now, hawk a loogie.

I'm so proud!

- Get off me!

- Remember,

inside every girl there's a boy.

That came out wrong.

But you know what I mean.

Vi.

Be a good boy.

See you guys.

I can do this. I am a dude!

I am a hunky dude!

I'm a badass hunky dude!

Hey! Hey! What up?

You must be my roommates.

What's your name?

- Sebastian Hastings.

- Duke Orsino.

OK.

OK, OK, OK.

This is Andrew and Toby.

They live next door.

Yeah. Freshman dorm's

that-a-way, twiglet.

Seriously, how old are you?

I skipped a couple grades.

I'm brilliant.

Anyway, do you know

when soccer tryouts start?

Noon. You play?

Absolutely. Center forward.

You know it, bro.

So you play the beautiful game... bro?

Brothers? Brethren?

Yeah, I'm a striker.

Andrew and Toby are halfbacks.

Schveet.

OK, why do you have tampons

in your boot?

I get really bad nose bleeds.

So, you stick them up your nose?

Yeah.

What? You've never done that?

Oh, my... Beckham does it all the time.

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