Sex Guaranteed Page #3

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I mean, it might be the right

idea, just not the right time.

Well, it has to be.

Huh?

I already put down the deposit.

A deposit? With what?

To knock down the house.

Kevin, you gotta be f***ing kidding me.

Did you even read this thing?

It's a lien.

It's a f***ing six month term.

- Dude, you'll lose your f***ing home.

- Not...

if Trampoline world succeeds.

Trampolines. Are you kidding me?

[Gary] Seriously though,

the female fruit bat,

she licks the male's cock

while they're having sex.

How is that even possible?

She bends. The female

fruit bat is very bendy.

Well, but, isn't the tip

already up inside her?

She doesn't lick the head, jackass.

She licks the shaft, makes him f*** longer.

Well, wouldn't that make it shorter?

Apparently not for a fruit bat.

- Hello?

- Hey, it's me. It's Hank.

- Oh. Hey, Hank.

- You missed my party, man.

Yeah, uh, sorry about

that. Something uh, came up.

I wanna do something [muffled]

- I can't understand.

- I'm talking sex guaranteed, man.

- What's "text guaranteed?"

- Not text, sex.

Oh, sex.

I'm here with this amazing

creature. She's called Zade.

She's amazing.

Now, Zade... wants to have sex with you.

What, is she desperate?

No, she's not desperate,

okay? This is her job.

Oh, no, I'm not having

sex with a hooker.

She's not a prostitute, okay?

[chuckles] She's... She's like a...

an expert. Um...

Let's say... a sexpert.

[Carl blubbers]

[Hank] She's just got a lot of

sex-pertise, you know what I mean?

Oh, uh, that's nice of you, man.

But, that's not really my thing.

Oh, come on, man. Relax!

This is real intimacy.

And frankly, it sounds like you need it.

Uh, I don't understand what you mean.

Think of her like a chef. Like, you know,

a chef, that comes to somebody's house,

cooks up a meal, but just for you.

And this chef makes a

thousand dollars an hour.

- A thousand dollars?

- Just... listen to me.

This is fate calling, Kevin.

Drop the hammer, get off the roof,

and get your f***ing ass to my party.

[click] [phone line beeps]

Yo, Kev, what the hell

is "sex guaranteed," man?

That guy Hank just called me and invited

me over to have sex with a hooker.

- Can you believe that?

- A prostitute?

He's out of his mind. I'm

not having sex with a hooker.

Hookers don't count.

- Everyone counts.

- Not hookers.

It's not the same another

girl. They're a subset.

So, what was the thousand dollars about?

I guess that's how much she costs.

[Gary] A day?

I think an hour.

Oh, you gotta do it.

That'd be like f***ing a professor of sex.

She's gonna know more sh*t than

you've ever even thought of.

It's gonna be like, like

caving with like a miner.

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