Sex Drive Page #2
about another guy,
but you got to bury that sh*t way down.
This is America, God damn it.
There is...
There is a girl that I've been kind of...
All right, I'm listening.
Where'd you meet her?
On the... Online.
(TIRES SQUEALING)
What? For f***'s sake, Ian,
don't you watch Dateline?
She's probably a guy. Some fat old dude
who wants to ram you in the tailpipe.
But you'd love that, wouldn't you?
'Cause you're a homo.
Hey, Ian. Try not to come home any gayer
than you are now.
(LAUGHING)
Seriously, though. You're a fag.
Hey, don't look at me like that.
I'll punch you in the goddamn throat.
(GOT YOU PLAYING)
(SINGING) Hey
What's your favorite song?
Maybe we could hum along
Well, I think you're smart,
you sweet thing
Tell me your name,
I'm dying here
Got you where I want you
Yeah
(SIGHS)
-Hey, Becca. How are you?
-I'm good. I'm fine. Whatever.
(CHUCKLING) Hey, Becca.
Looks like you had a long, nasty night.
-Ron and Ian want the four-one-uno.
-Whatever. You guys are gross.
-I'm not gross. I didn't say anything.
-Okay, who's going on coupon rounds?
-No, Becca, I did it yesterday.
-Please, Ian.
I love you so much.
Hello. This is a coupon for six free...
No? Okay. Sorry. Donuts? No.
-Six free donuts with the Bandito's Dozen.
-Thanks.
You're welcome. Sorry.
Excuse me. Do you know where the Gap is?
-It's just past the movie theater.
-Thanks, man.
(LAUGHING)
Yeah, real funny.
Free donuts, free coupons.
TIFFANY:
Felicia. How's it fitting, hon?Well, you look nice.
You know, sweetie,
there's still time to have your b*obs done
before my wedding.
Darren and I already discussed them,
and he said he'd pay for it.
I mean, he's a dentist,
so it's totally not a big deal.
Excuse me, do you have a pair of scissors?
Oh! Sure, sweetie.
Do you have a stringie?
Oh, no. I was just hoping
you could slit my wrists for me quickly.
My husband killed himself last Christmas.
I am so sorry. I was just...
Hello. This is a coupon
for six free donuts. Donuts?
Oh, my God! You look so hot in that.
Hey, sweetheart, listen.
Please don't take this the wrong way,
but your whole trying too hard thing,
it's just coming across as needy,
you know?
And I think you're better than that,
Kimberly.
-But all I was saying was that...
-Shh! Let's see it in a large. Okay?
I mean, Christ,
I'm out buying him clothes right now.
He's 18 years old.
I don't have to do that sh*t anymore.
Look, Judy, listen, I'm sorry,
I'm losing you. I'm going into a tunnel.
Well, it's official, Lance,
your mom's still bat-sh*t crazy.
What? You're telling me
she doesn't sh*t-talk me?
No, actually, she doesn't.
She doesn't, ever.
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"Sex Drive" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/sex_drive_17862>.
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