Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll Page #2
Russ! Where are you going?
Russell, wait. Wait!
# Fraser and Nash pony and trap
# Up your 'arris, in your mince
# Hamptons don't leave fingerprints
l'm the blackmail man
Call that singing? You're sh*t.
F*** off!
I'm more of an Emerson, Lake
and Palmer man myself.
I thought you were f***ing great.
Really?
Great as in celebrated,
illustrious, famous?
Or great as in large, fat, bloated?
Something you do
to a nutmeg, perhaps?
Great as in great!
And I should know.
I saw Jimi Hendrix before anyone.
-Really?
-Mmm-hmm.
Tell me. Was Jimi. ..nice?
Yeah. He was extremely polite.
So, do you always wear those glasses?
For your protection, my dear.
I am very, very good with women.
I used to live with me mum
and her two sisters.
I like women so much,
I used to think
I was a repressed homosexual.
But I'm not.
Fortuitously, I am gorgeous to look at.
Can I tickle your tonsils, please, miss?
-Maybe.
-Mmm.
You have to be extremely polite.
Oi, sling your hook.
Just pay up what was agreed.
I didn't agree to a bunch of spazzers
from the mental home.
You see, that's just not
a very spiritual thing to say!
Well, have a look at your drummer!
What's the problem?
He can't leave the stage
at the interval.
So?
Well, it don't happen
to f***in' Pink Floyd, does it?
And as for Long John Silver.. .
Oi, mate, you puttin' it on?
You didn't limp like that on stage.
Oh, no. On stage I try to hover.
Look, I'm sure we can come
to some friendly agreement.
Yeah, we can agree you can't sing,
you're past it
and you look like a Potato Jesus.
-No offence.
-None taken,
you fat-ankled f***er.
Fat ankles?
I might be a f***ing cripple, mate,
but I'm dangerous, all right?
You wanna sort out your inner calm.
Nice one, Davey, go on.
Go on, my son, get in there!
Russell. Russ,
we need to talk about this.
There you are. There's your millions.
Joke money, joke life.
It's over, mate. We're going nowhere.
Russ, why you got to say
things like that?
I quit.
Nobody quits.
Quitting is not in the vocabulary.
Yeah? What about "F*** you, Ian"?
Is that in the vocabulary?
-What did you say?
-Nothing.
Go on, then. Go on.
I don't f***ing need you.
What do you mean?
I write the music, I drive the van.
I carry you up the stairs
when you're pissed.
I make the f***ing sandwiches.
Can you drive?
Yeah, see, she can drive.
And I bet she can make f***ing
sandwiches and all.
Russell, come on. Look, we're talking,
mate. We're trying to talk!
Russell!
Right, you're f***ing fired.
You are, you're fired.
You didn't quit, you were fired!
-Yes? Do I know you?
-No.
Well, do us a favour
and f*** off, will you?
Hey, Ian, you know that geezer's
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"Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 19 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/sex_%2526_drugs_%2526_rock_%2526_roll_17854>.
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