Senseless Page #2

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Well, two and a half.

You try watchin' Brad Pitt

in Interview With A Vampire

and not feel a little conflicted.

Look, man, all I'm sayin'...

pick an obsession, stay with it.

- All right?

- Mmm.

- [Metal Jangling]

- Okay, what's the new chiming sound?

Oh, uh, that's

my Prince Albert.

- A what?

- Yeah, I got a piercing

through my urethra.

And I run a chain

from that to my scrotum.

- Listen.

- [Ringing]

Ohh.

With piercing, uh,

it's about pain and pleasure.

Like you, for instance, right?

You got that inner pain,

that hunger for success.

And when you get it,

it's gonna be all the more sweet, dog.

[Chattering]

Hello, Darryl.

Runnin' low on bacon bits over here.

- Hi, Scott.

- No emergency.

Just somethin' to keep

in the back of your head.

Oh, well, thank you for the pork report.

Appreciate it.

- You going up for that Smythe-Bates job?

- Oh, yeah.

I'm kind of the pace car

in this Employment 500.

3.8 G.P.A. Varsity sailing.

Kappa House social chairman.

Your dad runs the third-largest bank

in Manhattan.

Oh, yeah, and that.

Right.

Ahh-Ahh-Ahh

Ahh-Ahh-Ahh

- Ahh-Ahh-Ahh

- Ooh, lookie, lookie,

Darryl sees a cookie.

- Ahh-Ahh-Ahh

- Is that Hidden Valley?

Or are you just happy

to see me?

- Ahh-Ahh-Ahh

- [Chuckles]

- Ahh-Ahh-Ahh

- Uh, ah, da...

[Man Narrating] Smythe-Bates has

long enjoyed a reputation...

as one of the world's premier

investment firms.

That is why each year we choose our new

junior analysts with tremendous care.

The Smythe-Bates man or woman

has a high G.P.A.,

a record of athletic achievement

and ties of tradition

to our firm through some...

of the more prominent

fraternal organizations on campus.

Because we regard the junior analyst

position not as a stopping point,

but as a stepping stone to greatness.

[Video Clicks Off]

Now, class, I would like for you

to extend a very warm welcome

to my old friend,

Mr. Randall Tyson

of Smythe-Bates Brokers.

- Randall?

- Thank you, Professor Engel.

Good to see you.

Uh, well, this old room holds

many memories for me.

- I logged quite a bit

of nap time in that back row.

- [Darryl Laughs Loudly]

I sincerely wish that we had a place

for all of you,

but that's not the case.

Five of you will be chosen,

and out of the five finalists,

the student who most closely resembles

the ideal employee...

will be chosen for the position

of junior analyst at Smythe-Bates.

Good luck to all of you.

All right, class, in the case study

that we were examining last week...

Now, the markets are up,

but consumer spending...

and corporate profit margins are down.

- Now, how would the social

planner remedy this, huh?

- [Darryl] Ooh!

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