Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse Page #2

- Really?

Hit me. What do we have?

How'd recruiting go?

Oh, the usual. Yeah, no one joined.

I think it's just a big joke at this point.

It's not a joke.

I think it's really cool

you guys have stuck with Scouts.

One day you're gonna look back on this

and you're gonna be

really happy you did it.

Okay. Thanks.

Looks like the deer made out

better than your car.

Yeah. Wait, what? What do you mean?

Well, where is it?

It's right over there.

Holy sh*t! Holy sh*t, man!

You dick. What's wrong with you?

Dude. Dude, okay. You're never

gonna believe what happened.

Hey, you sure you guys

don't need a ride?

No, we're good.

See you boys tonight.

Hey! See you tonight, man!

All right? All right?

Bye, Chloe! Bye!

What are you talking about, tonight?

Dude, you are never going

to guess what happened.

We got invited to the secret

senior party, man. Look.

Who cares? Look, the deer is gone.

What about the deer?

Dude, f*** deers, man!

We are going to the secret party, man!

Come on!

I'm gonna f*** Chloe.

I'm gonna f*** Chloe.

Ben, come on.

This is the chance of a lifetime.

Okay. I mean,

quit acting like you don't want to go.

Of course I want to go. I do.

But it's Augie's big night.

He's getting his Condor Badge.

We can't miss the ceremony

or he'd never forgive us.

Okay, look, hear me out.

We go to the campout,

and when Augie and Rogers fall asleep,

we will sneak out and go to the party.

Carter...

We'll be back before dawn,

it'll be like we never even left.

I don't know. It just sounds...

Ben.

This could be the night of our lives.

Please.

All right. I mean, I guess we could try.

- Okay.

- I love you.

You're amazing. Thank you!

Whoa! What the hell?

Hi, Mrs. Fielder. Hi.

Your garbage cans were

blocking my driveway again.

Had to move them myself,

which is no easy task

with a herniated disk.

Okay, great.

You tell your father to keep his trash

on his side of the property.

Okay, we'll do that, Mrs. Fielder.

Thank you.

All right, thanks. Yep.

Can you just move right there?

Thank you. Bye!

Jesus Christ.

You old hag! Okay. Thank you.

She is so annoying.

Oh, my God.

Can you imagine living next to that?

Oh, my God. Dude,

how many cats does she have?

Dude, who knows. She probably rubs

Fancy Feast on her cooch

and lets them all go to town.

What?

Meet me here at 5:30 and then

we'll go to Camp Womp Womp.

Then we'll go to the party. All right?

- All right? All right.

- All right.

See you soon, man.

All right. See ya.

Oh, litterbugs.

Come on.

Biotine?

How'd you get way out here?

Well, Peter Morris, finders keepers.

Hello?

Hello?

What's wrong with you?

You A-wipe!

C- word! All the other words!

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