School for Scoundrels

Synopsis: Based on the Stephen Potter "One Upmanship" and "Lifemanship" books, Henry Palfrey tries hard to impress but always loses out to the rotter Delauney. Then he discovers the Lifeman college run by "Professor" Potter and discovers the secrets of success. But has he the courage to put all his lessons into effect?
Genre: Comedy
Production: LionsGate Entertainment
94 min

without me for a while.

I'm a... well,

I'm an executive.


So, the later

the better, really.

Yes, yes, of course.

I say, are you sure you

don't want to sue me?

Absolutely positive.

Yes, well, erm...

what about the stockings?

I'll let you into a secret.

They weren't new, anyway.

Well, perhaps they had some

sentimental value?

Not really enough to sue for.

Pity, really.

Ha ha ha.

Do you always come

this way to work?

Yes, yes, I do.

Someone's coming.

The most handsome batting...

ok, it's only the boss.

And the lead's now 126...

good morning!

Evan has caught him

most gloriously!

What's the score?

Shhh, I can't hear.


And now all round

the ground...

Miss Stevens!

Miss Wilson! Appleby!

Yes, if times were normal,

you'd all take

a week's notice,

but as times are

regrettably abnormal,

I shall have to content myself

with a severe reprimand

on my return from Mr. Henry's


Meanwhile, back to your desks.

Good morning, sir.

Ah, the very man

I wanted to see.

Would you book a table for me

at the Camellia Room

for tonight for two,

for 9 o'clock?

The Camellia Room, sir?

I'm taking someone to dinner.

Taking or being taken, sir?


Your late uncle always used

to say that the best place

for taking was the

Hampshire Buttery, sir.

A very satisfying meal

for seven and sixpence.

Here is the morning's business


which I had ready on your desk

at 9 o'clock,

but removed to a place of safety

pending your arrival.

Thank you, Gloatbridge.

Are there any decisions,

or are they just signatures?

I think we decided that it

should be just signatures, sir,

since you inadvertently...


You will remember I feel sure,

sir, just why we decided

it should be just signatures

and not decisions.

Of course.


Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Patricia Moyes

Patricia Pakenham-Walsh, also known as Patricia Moyes (19 January 1923 – 2 August 2000) was a British mystery writer. Her mystery novels feature C.I.D. Inspector Henry Tibbett. One of them, Who Saw Her Die (Many Deadly Returns in the USA) was nominated for an Edgar Allan Poe Award in 1971. She wrote several juveniles and short stories. more…

All Patricia Moyes scripts | Patricia Moyes Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018


Translate and read this script in other languages:

Select another language:

  • - Select -
  • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
  • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
  • Español (Spanish)
  • Esperanto (Esperanto)
  • 日本語 (Japanese)
  • Português (Portuguese)
  • Deutsch (German)
  • العربية (Arabic)
  • Français (French)
  • Русский (Russian)
  • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
  • 한국어 (Korean)
  • עברית (Hebrew)
  • Gaeilge (Irish)
  • Українська (Ukrainian)
  • اردو (Urdu)
  • Magyar (Hungarian)
  • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
  • Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Italiano (Italian)
  • தமிழ் (Tamil)
  • Türkçe (Turkish)
  • తెలుగు (Telugu)
  • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
  • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
  • Čeština (Czech)
  • Polski (Polish)
  • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Românește (Romanian)
  • Nederlands (Dutch)
  • Ελληνικά (Greek)
  • Latinum (Latin)
  • Svenska (Swedish)
  • Dansk (Danish)
  • Suomi (Finnish)
  • فارسی (Persian)
  • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
  • հայերեն (Armenian)
  • Norsk (Norwegian)
  • English (English)

Discuss this School for Scoundrels script with the community:


Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


"School for Scoundrels" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 8 Aug. 2020. <>.

We need you!

Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

The Marketplace:

Sell your Script !

Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!

The Studio:

ScreenWriting Tool

Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.

Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.