Sausage Party Page #2

---

once it happens.

I've obviously never been

in a bun before, so...

Hey, I'm not gonna be any better.

I've never opened up.

I mean, look how tight I am.

Oh, sweet f***ing f***.

Look, okay, I know it's against the rules,

but I can't wait anymore.

I need to just feel you.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

- Just the tips?

- Just the tips?

- I can't believe we're doing this.

- I know. We're so naughty.

It's fine, right? I mean, nothing bad's

ever happened from just the tips.

No. No, no, no. No, no, no.

Ah.

Oh, yeah, go in. Put it in there.

- Big tip.

- Oh, you wouldn't dare.

Management to Cash 5.

Management to Cash 5.

I meant to buy a normal mustard.

When I got home...

I realized I bought honey mustard.

- Is it cool if I just go swap it?

- I don't give a flying f***.

Holy sh*t! You're back, man. Crazy!

Did you go to the Great Beyond?

Don't touch me, man!

Ketchup, get your f***ing hands off me.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- What happened?

- Oh, I'll tell you what f***ing happened.

I'll tell you exactly what happened

in the Great Beyond...

- you dumb, red piece of sh*t!

- What the f...?!

As soon as we got out those doors...

So you have learned the terrible truth.

Congratulations!

Now keep it to yourself,

or I will slit your throat while you sleep.

I swear to God.

Oh, my God!

Did you guys just hear that?

What? What are you looking at?

He's gone.

Where the f*** did he go?

I'm so f***ed up. I'm so f***ed up.

Ketchup, get the f*** off of me.

Nobody f***ing touch me!

Attention, shoppers. The store

is closing in five minutes. Get out.

Hey, hey, hey, look at this.

We f***ing got one.

- Stand up straight, boys!

- Hey!

Over here! Choose us!

We're chosen!

Pick us! Pick our package!

Brenda!

Frank!

Oh, man. I'm freaking out.

My heart's racing.

I'm having an out-of-sausage

experience. Yes!

Choose us! Look at us!

Oh, please, god.

- Choose us. Look at us! Oh, yes!

- Please, god.

- Nice!

- Whoo!

- Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

- Yes! Frank, we've been chosen together.

F***ing A! Yeah!

This is so cool!

- I'm chosen! I got chosen!

- Going to the Promised Land!

I'm on my way!

Yo! Oh, f***, yeah, dude.

Somebody call a doctor

because, honestly, this beat is sick.

- Actually, I feel great. Real healthy.

- Not you, the beat. The song, bro.

- Oh, sh*t, Chips!

- Huh?

C-H-I-P-S, Chips, Chips, Chips.

I've known you forever.

I would never disrespect you with a lie.

I will tell you very much

that you look f***ing disgusting, bro.

Oh, come on.

No, I'm just messing with you, bro.

But for reals? You gotta hit the gym, bro.

Oh, what's up?

Yo, are you pink all the way through?

- Ew.

- Ha-ha-ha.

Rate this script:2.4 / 5 votes