Sarah Silverman: Jesus Is Magic Page #2

He said if it doesn't burn through my skin it will protect me.

Who cares. Different religions,

you know. I mean...

I guess if you in time with an issue, I suppose

would be like if you're having a baby...

You got to figure out like how

you wanna raise your baby.

...or whatever, you know. Which wouldn't even still

not be an issue for us because we'd be honest, you know...

... and just say, you know like Mammy

is one of the chosen people and ...

... and daddy believes

that Jesus is magic.

That's not nice.

You know Jesus is magic you know

because he turn water to wine and he...

I think he made the

Stature of Liberty disappear.

... or something.

You know that Jews got all,

you know they don't want.

But then Jesus movie came out, you know,

and but now the Jews didn't want people to see it.

Because they felt...

Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ

and then the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans.

I'm one of the few people that

believes it was the blacks.

I don't care. Good. I hope the Jews did kill Christ.

I'd do it again, I'd f***ing do it again on the second.

By here is breaking stocks clacking.

This way.

My boyfriend and I were on like second or

third stage, you know, we're like...

...we're finally comfortable.

You know around.

Like I'm finally comfortable enough to pee in front

of my boyfriend, which is so great, you know.

Cause now I'm gonna try

it in the bathroom.

And...

...we take showers together

and you know it's really...

I guarantee if you take a shower with your boyfriend, by the time

you step out of that shower your breasts will be sparkling clean.

Sparkle in.

I was licking jelly out of my boyfriend's

penis and all of a sudden...

...all of a sudden I'm thinking "Oh my God,

I'm turning into my mother."

You know it's like...

Those clues. You know.

Of becoming our parents. It's scary.

So scary.

Try to get that lilts like that.

It's a fun. What if fun cut.

So scary.

Can I steal you for a minute?

Like that kind of voice.

I'm so into that.

I don't know why it's fun.

Can I steal you for a minute?

I'm on a birth control pill.

Cause I do a lot of f***ing.

But I want like I wanna try something else,

because it's really hormonian and...

I'm always looking... I'm always asking my

friends what they use for birth control.

...take a little poll, like I ask my friend

Charlie what he and his wife use for birth controlling.

He said he just cums

all over her face.

I'm gonna try that.

He has kids already. My boyfriend, he has kids. I mean theyre like...

He's got a boy and a girl, theyre nine and eleven. And theyre great.

You know what, he actually made them those

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