Russell Howard Live: Dingledodies Page #2
- Year:
- 2009
- 77 min
- 98 Views
is there a lovelier thing than that?
(Yells) ''Helicopter!''
''Willy Wonka, never again! Who?''
''Poundland!''
l was watching this the other day,
it was so lovely, l was on this train...
l don't know why... ''Train!''
There were four women and they looked
after one who was getting the wobbly head.
''Cover her up, she's dribbling a bit.
''Come on, sisters, let's get together
and look after her. Our fallen princess.''
l'm sat there going, ''You do not get
that treatment if you're a man, do you?''
''l'm definitely going, lads.
Look after me if l pass out.''
''Yeah. On your way, d*ckhead,
on your way.
''Right, he's out cold.
Gentlemen, let's go to work.
''Shave his eyebrows,
put his hand down his trousers,
''give me his phone, text his mum,
'l am gay', send...
''l do believe this is our stop.
Everybody off quietly.
''Wait for the train to pull out,
knock on the window. Yah!''
That's what happens if you're a man
and l speak as a man
who's arrived at Paddington Station
with the word ''paedo'' on his face.
(Laughter)
l did. Spelt with two Es.
That's what really annoyed me!
''You spelt it wrong!''
''You'd know!''
''That doesn't mean anything!''
''l can spell the word 'goose',
l'm not out laying an egg!''
Walking around London
like a Chuckle Brother, that's not good!
That's one of the world's mysteries.
How did the Chuckle Brothers
become children's entertainers?
You wouldn't let 'em
near your children, would you?
Especially that gimpy one...
''Hello!''
Looks like he spends his entire life
sniffing trampolines.
(Laughter, groaning)
''To me, to you!''
''Get the f*** out of my garden!''
(Laughter)
Don't you hate it when that happens?
Walking around with ''paedo'' on your face.
l would get bullied all the time.
l used to get bullied when l was little.
Really badly,
cos l had a lazy eye
and l've had an operation
but it's still bad if l look at the camera.
l used to get picked on...
''Look at him.
''He's obsessed with his nose!''
(Laughter)
''Who said that?
Which one of you said that?''
And l went to my dad for advice.
l used to cry a lot,
- l looked like a Picasso in the rain, and...
- (Laughter)
''Dad, l need advice.''
''Over here, son.''
''Well, stop moving then.''
He did that thing, has anyone ever
been offered advice from your dad...
lt's never like, ''Brick in their face,
this'll deal with it.'' lt's always like,
''Well, son, if you say this to the bullies
they'll bully you no more. Hmm! Hmm!''
Never works.
l cringe every time l think about this.
Me, aged ten, stood in front of these bullies
going, ''Bullies, how can my eye be lazy...
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Russell Howard Live: Dingledodies" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/russell_howard_live:_dingledodies_17274>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In