Russell Howard Live: Dingledodies Page #2

Synopsis: Recorded at Brighton Dome as part of his twice extended sell-out Dingledodies tour (which played to over 125,000 people), the show sees the star of Mock the Week (BBC Two) and Russell ...
Director(s): Russell Howard
 
IMDB:
7.5
Year:
2009
77 min
98 Views


is there a lovelier thing than that?

(Yells) ''Helicopter!''

''Willy Wonka, never again! Who?''

''Poundland!''

l was watching this the other day,

it was so lovely, l was on this train...

l don't know why... ''Train!''

There were four women and they looked

after one who was getting the wobbly head.

''Cover her up, she's dribbling a bit.

''Come on, sisters, let's get together

and look after her. Our fallen princess.''

l'm sat there going, ''You do not get

that treatment if you're a man, do you?''

''l'm definitely going, lads.

Look after me if l pass out.''

''Yeah. On your way, d*ckhead,

on your way.

''Right, he's out cold.

Gentlemen, let's go to work.

''Shave his eyebrows,

put his hand down his trousers,

''give me his phone, text his mum,

'l am gay', send...

''l do believe this is our stop.

Everybody off quietly.

''Wait for the train to pull out,

knock on the window. Yah!''

That's what happens if you're a man

and l speak as a man

who's arrived at Paddington Station

with the word ''paedo'' on his face.

(Laughter)

l did. Spelt with two Es.

That's what really annoyed me!

''You spelt it wrong!''

''You'd know!''

''That doesn't mean anything!''

''l can spell the word 'goose',

l'm not out laying an egg!''

Walking around London

like a Chuckle Brother, that's not good!

That's one of the world's mysteries.

How did the Chuckle Brothers

become children's entertainers?

You wouldn't let 'em

near your children, would you?

Especially that gimpy one...

''Hello!''

Looks like he spends his entire life

sniffing trampolines.

(Laughter, groaning)

''To me, to you!''

''Get the f*** out of my garden!''

(Laughter)

Don't you hate it when that happens?

Walking around with ''paedo'' on your face.

l would get bullied all the time.

l used to get bullied when l was little.

Really badly,

cos l had a lazy eye

and l've had an operation

but it's still bad if l look at the camera.

l used to get picked on...

''Look at him.

''He's obsessed with his nose!''

(Laughter)

''Who said that?

Which one of you said that?''

And l went to my dad for advice.

l used to cry a lot,

- l looked like a Picasso in the rain, and...

- (Laughter)

''Dad, l need advice.''

''Over here, son.''

''Well, stop moving then.''

He did that thing, has anyone ever

been offered advice from your dad...

lt's never like, ''Brick in their face,

this'll deal with it.'' lt's always like,

''Well, son, if you say this to the bullies

they'll bully you no more. Hmm! Hmm!''

Never works.

l cringe every time l think about this.

Me, aged ten, stood in front of these bullies

going, ''Bullies, how can my eye be lazy...

''when it wanders around so freely?''

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Russell Howard

Russell Joseph Howard (born 23 March 1980) is an English comedian, television presenter, radio presenter and actor, best known for his TV shows Russell Howard's Good News and The Russell Howard Hour and his appearances on the topical panel TV show Mock the Week. He won "Best Compère" at the 2006 Chortle Awards and was nominated for an if.comedy award for his 2006 Edinburgh Festival Fringe show. Howard cited comedians Lee Evans, Richard Pryor and Frank Skinner as influences. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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