Runaway Bride Page #4

Peggy and Mrs. Pressman step into a hardware store.

INT. HARDWARE STORE - CONTINUOUS

Peggy and Mrs. Pressman enter, worried.

MRS. PRESSMAN

You tell Maggie.

PEGGY:

No, you tell her.

MRS. PRESSMAN

No, no. You're her best friend.

PEGGY:

No.

MRS. PRESSMAN

(holding her

newspaper)

You know, it's just possible that she

hasn't read this yet.

PEGGY:

Yeah.

MRS. PRESSMAN

Maybe she hasn't read the paper...

On the counter, they see a copy of USA Today opened to the

article about Maggie.

MRS. PRESSMAN (cont'd)

... Or not!

We follow MAGGIE down the back stairs inside The Hale Hardware

Store, the prettiest, most welcoming shop of its kind anywhere

in small town USA. Somehow the place ha taken on the spirit of

the owner's daughter; both stop and shop-girl radiate brightness,

charm, and possibility. Maggie comes down steps with a faucet

handle and goes to an elderly customer, MR. PAXTON.

MAGGIE:

(bright)

Here we go! One antique hot water

handle with the "HOT" still on it,

guaranteed to fit any American Standard

cast iron tub with a four-inch center

made between 1924 and 1938. In other

words, I think you're out of the

doghouse with Mrs. Paxton.

MR. PAXTON

(amazed)

Hallelujah.

MAGGIE:

Alright, Mr. Paxton, I'll put it on

your account.

Maggie rounds the bend, another customer, EARL, stands by the

paint machine.

EARL:

Maggie.

MAGGIE:

(walking past customer)

You don't need an air conditioner, Earl,

you just need an attic fan -- There's

more in the back.

Maggie steps behind the front counter of the store and takes the

account book out. Her voice trails off as she sees the dour

expression on the faces of her friends.

MAGGIE (cont'd)

What?

Peggy nervously mentions the newspaper.

PEGGY:

(delicate)

So -- Mag -- you've seen this, huh?

MAGGIE:

(serious)

Yes, I've seen it. And I have to say

it's the rudest and most offensive...

joke anybody's ever played on me!

To their amazement, Maggie starts smiling.

MAGGIE (cont'd)

You guys! How long did this take you?

Maggie stays amused.

MAGGIE (cont'd)

Where'd you get this done?

(laughing)

You creeps! I should disinvite you!

And why did you say seven times? This

is four.

PEGGY:

Uh, Maggie, you told us to bachelorette

jokes, so we didn't...

Maggie looks at the stricken face of her friends.

MRS. PRESSMAN

Holy moly.

Peggy looks like she is going to cry with sympathy for Maggie.

Maggie is starting to feel uncomfortable. She looks down,

dubiously, at the paper.

MAGGIE:

Um, you know, now would be a good

moment to tell me this is fake.

(no response)

It won't be funny if you drag it out.

Okay?

(no response)

Okay, well... I mean, I can find out...

Real newspapers smear. Phoney papers

don't.

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