Run, Fat Boy, Run Page #3

Year:
2007
76 Views


- Time travellers.

- Where were you?

My whole night

was just screwed, man...

and I looked like a prick in

front of Libby's new boyfriend.

Oh, she didn't tell me

she has a new boyfriend.

What's he like?

Handsome, well-off, friendly.

He's like Peter Perfect

out of Wacky Races...

and he runs marathons.

- Why?

- Exactly.

Well, look, my only

serious relationship ended...

in a broken collarbone

and a dead meerkat...

so I may not be the best person

in the world to give advice...

but you have been trying

to get through to Libby...

for five years now...

so maybe you should let her go.

Yeah,

but what is her problem?

Dennis, you left her

at the altar...

when she was pregnant.

But that was ages ago.

Well, women remember that stuff.

Look, if there's anything else

I can do to help...

just let me know.

Well, actually, I am

a little bit behind in my rent.

I was wondering if you had

a couple of hundred quid...

I could maybe borrow.

Oh, I love you. I really do.

I needed that actually.

That's great. Thank you.

I'll see you later.

How about this one?

I bet you can't do it.

- I can do a big one.

- Go on.

Look, look, look, look, look.

That was a good one.

Yeah.

Listen.

I'm really sorry about

gettin' you arrested yesterday.

That's all right.

Most universities

don't even look...

at things

like that these days.

Hey, another one.

As far as I'm concerned,

what else do you have?

- Oh, she was great.

- Yeah, well, she is--

Ooh!

- Shh.

- Sorry.

Um, but, yeah, so I think--

Do you want to hear a secret?

Absolutely.

There's a girl in my class

called Emily.

Well, I'm sure

that's not a secret.

The teachers probably know

about her.

She looks like a tree frog.

She what?

She looks like a tree frog.

That's not

a very nice thing to say.

I like tree frogs.

Oh, yeah?

More than hobbits?

I see.

I really feel

we can make a life together.

"You really think we could--"

Wait, that sounds like something

Whit would say.

He did say it.

- What? To Mom?

- Yes.

What a shithead.

Dad!

Sorry.

Listen, I'm really glad

you were such a big boy...

about not gettin'

into the whole...

Lord of the Rings thing,

you know?

That's OK.

Whit's got us front row seats

for tomorrow...

so it's even better.

What a shithead.

Dad!

Well.

# Ah, yeah #

# Oh, yeah #

# I'm up

on the eleventh floor #

# And I'm watchin'

the cruisers below #

# He's down on the street #

# And he's tryin' hard

to pull sister Flo #

# Oh, my heart's

in the basement #

# My weekend's

at an all-time low #

# 'Cause she's hopin' to score #

# So I can't see her

letting him go #

# You betcha #

# Oh, yeah #

# Uh-huh #

Deliveries are downstairs.

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Michael Ian Black

Michael Ian Black (born Michael Ian Schwartz; August 12, 1971) is an American comedian, actor, writer, and director. He has starred in several TV comedy series, including The State, Viva Variety, Stella, Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp, The Comedy Quarter-hour, Michael & Michael Have Issues, and Another Period. He also appeared on Celebrity Poker Showdown several times. He released his first children's book, Chicken Cheeks, in 2009, and has since released six more, in addition to four books for adults. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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