Ruby Sparks Page #3

- Why Dayton?

- Sounds romantic.

Ruby's first crushes were

Humphrey Bogart and John Lennon.

Cried the day she found out

they were already dead.

Ruby got kicked out of high school

for sleeping with her art teacher...

...or maybe her Spanish teacher.

I haven't decided yet.

Ruby can't drive.

She doesn't own a computer.

She hates her middle name,

which is Tiffany.

She always, always roots

for the underdog.

She's complicated.

That's what I like best about her.

Ruby's not so good at life sometimes.

She forgets to open bills

or cash checks and...

Her last boyfriend was 49.

The one before that was an alcoholic.

She can feel a change coming.

She's looking for it.

Looking for what?

Something new.

Feels good, right?

Can we stop a second?

Why? You all right?

Hey, Sue.

- Yeah?

They didn't have paprika,

so I got cumin.

Shh, shh!

They're the same thing, right?

Miles went down.

If you wake him, I will beat you.

Calvin? You need to thank me

because I cleaned your oven.

Thank you, Susie.

Oh, my woman.

Okay. You're sweaty.

Get your mitts off of me.

Susie, did you happen to sha...?

You didn't tell me you were getting laid.

Harry.

I'm just saying.

He claims to be writing too much

to haul his ass to our house.

But turns out,

he's just getting too much poon.

Harry, I swear to God...

I'm not getting any poon.

Oh, yeah?

Whose is that?

You tell me.

Oh, my God. Scotty.

It's Scotty's?

- No. Scotty...

Don't let the baby touch that.

Miles, don't...

Suse, he likes it.

- No, he doesn't like it.

Scotty's been dragging them in.

He seems to love it.

He goes through

my weird neighbor's garbage.

So that's a random dirty bra?

- It's dirty.

That's gross.

You made him cough.

Calvin, don't put it away.

Throw it away.

I swear, if your mother knew...

Calvin, what is this?

- What's what?

Nothing.

Harry, get over here.

Uh, please, don't.

Are these panties?

F*** off.

I swear,

Scotty's been dragging them in.

Right. Scotty.

Shut up.

Calvin, throw these away.

Hey, Susie, I'm gonna check on Harry.

- Okay.

Tell him we have to go soon.

- Okay.

So?

Where do you see this going?

Well, I don't know. I just started.

This is a love story, right?

Who reads love stories?

Women.

And I'm telling you,

no woman's gonna wanna read this.

Why not? It's romantic.

Quirky, messy women whose problems

only make them endearing are not real.

Period.

What do they say,

"write what you've been through"?

Write what you know.

Exactly. Write what you know.

I've known girls like Ruby.

Yeah?

Who?

Girls.

Lila?

Not f***ing Lila.

You've had one relationship.

For five years.

You never even lived together.

I'm telling you, Calvin,

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