Rough Night Page #2

---

I'm so stressed out.

You'll see your friends, you'll have fun.

It'll be restorative.

Like that time we took Xanax

and slept for 16 hours.

Oh, God, that was good.

You know, I love those girls,

but I really just don't want to

have a party weekend right now.

- Mmm-hmm.

- I want to have a weekend with you.

- I miss you.

- Mmm-hmm. I miss you, too.

- You've been at the office, like, nonstop.

- I know.

Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm.

Wait, wait, one... If we keep kissing,

I'm gonna want to have sex.

I'm okay with that.

- I'm down.

- Okay.

But I have, like, four things

I have to do before.

I just have to print out those itineraries

for the city council meeting.

And I have to email the Herald.

I have, like, a 25-minute-ish interview.

- Ooh. Okay.

- I...

I tell you what, I'm gonna

let you do all that,

and I'm gonna go masturbate

in the shower and go to sleep.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- You're the best.

- Well...

- I love you.

- I love you, too.

- So, I texted you the address.

- Jess! Shots! Shots!

Shots, shots, shots, shots! Shots! Shots!

Shots, shots, shots!

Yay! Yes!

Oh, my God.

- What's on my head?

- This is it.

Your bachelorette weekend.

I have been waiting for this moment

since the first day of freshman year.

- Get in here.

- You have?

Oh, my God, there's gonna be

so many hot Miami babes.

We are gonna be swimmin' in dick, girl!

Hi, Alice.

- Peter. Hi.

- Hey.

And get out of here, she's mine now.

Don't get in too much trouble, okay?

- Yeah, I won't.

- Let's go, let's do it.

Drive safe.

Have fun at your bachelor party, okay?

Will do.

Hey, Alice, be careful swimming

in all that dick.

What are you? Okay, bye.

I'm so happy to see you.

Oh, this weekend's gonna be so much fun.

Can't wait to see my girls!

When the pepper spray

hits your face, and it will,

keep your mouth closed tight.

- We are peaceful protestors.

- Yes!

Yet we fight, you know? Yet we are strong!

- Yeah! Yeah!

- This is war!

Okay, I got to head to a bachelorette.

But if anybody from the group disappears

from the protest,

you text my cell phone immediately.

You have a cell phone?

- Uh, no.

- You're one of them!

I'll pick you up after school

on Monday, okay, sweetie?

Mommy, do you have to go to Miami?

Yes, I really do.

But I'm gonna miss you so much.

Technically, my time

started 20 minutes ago,

so, going to note this

for the custody hearing.

Mmm. I love you. Mwah! Mwah!

Bye.

Come on, shake your body,

baby, do the conga

I know you can't control

yourself any longer...

Well, well, well.

Damn.

Damn.

How do you do it?

How do you look

this flawless getting off a plane?

It's honestly rude.

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote