Ross Noble: Fizzy Logic Page #2

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and will have grown his beard extra long

and l'll say ''How's your dad?''

and he'll go, ''He's fine.

''l'm running the la-di-dah ducting business.''

And l shall salute you.

And you might not be riding a sh*t bike.

(Laughter)

Ladies and gentlemen, it's been a pleasure

talking to you. Take care, good night!

(# Heavy rock)

(# Heavy rock)

Welcome back! Welcome back

to the second half of the show!

(Cackles) That was brilliant.

You were all clapping, and l looked down

and the fella with the wolf -

sorry, Randy Pan.

But the whole...

Look at him - ''l have a name!

''l'm not just The Wolf'.

Yeah but Peter's become The Bearded Man,

so, you know.

But he did a brilliant thing there.

You were all clapping - yay! - like that,

and he'd reached around

and was making Randy Pan clap.

But because you're wearing black

and you had your hand behind him

l couldn't see your arms there,

and l went, Ahh!

The wolf was genuinely clapping -

''This is brilliant''

He's only clapping because he's going,

''l was on the stage, which means

l am owed a performance fee.''

Yeah, and people throughout the land'll be

going ''Brilliant - go and see Ross.

''Well, don't see Ross,

go and see the shitty wolf.

''And he might

make an appearance as well''.

So, anyway, welcome to...

Was it a good interval, all in all?

Yes. You haven't got him so you can

pretend you're a blind lad, have you?

That's not the plan? lt's what?

lt isn't... lt's not a good idea at all.

Cos how many blind people have a

dodgy-looking wolf with them

- that wears clothes?

- (Woman) They're blind! They don't know!

What? They're blind, they don't know.

(Sighs)

l walked into that one, didn't l?

As the blind fella would

if he had that as his guide dog.

Boomph!

''That blind man just walked into something.''

''l'm not surprised, he clearly has some kind

of cheaply-made Chinese acrylic toy on...

''on the end of a bit of wire as he wanders

around the place with a...''

Do they have...?

Yeah, they do - l couldn't work out,

cos l had the guide dog there

and the stick, as well. They do, don't they?

- Do they have the dog and the stick?

- (Man) Yes.

- (2nd man) No.

- Yes! No!

Yes! Yeah! (Grunting)

''l think they do.''

''l don't think they do.''

What a controversial response that was.

''Yes!'' ''No!'' ''Possibly!''

''They're blind, they don't know!

''They just have

whatever gets put in their hand.''

Walking along with a clothes prop in their...

or a mic stand, like this.

They, um... Do they? l'm not sure...

Yes, l'm sure they have a dog.

And... This is all the show is gonna be

unless we clear this up.

Obviously the stick has to be the right length

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