Roommates Page #3

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you're doin'? - Readin' the paper.

I'll tell that to the cops outside.

Oh, for Christ's sake.

This is not a game, Rocky.

You can't stay here.

- How's your coffee? Okay?

- Wait a second. This was decided.

I asked you, "Do you want to move to Tucson

with Barbara and Stash." You said, "Yes."

- I changed my mind.

- Why?

- Why? She invites me to dinner,

your Aunt Barbara. - Yeah?

Well, she's makin' golombis.

What the hell? I say, "Yes."

Now, fat Stash arrives

in his new Cadillac.

New-used. And all the way there he's playing

this goddamn Barry "Maniloff' tape.

- "Low."

- What?

- It's Barry Manilow.

- Who's telling this, you or me?

So he's playing this goddamn tape and he's

talking about some goddamn golf game.

And on top of that he farts.

It's like a trombone.

And he don't notice it.

Jackass.

Well, he's talking

so goddamn much.

And he don't smell it.

He must be used to it. Anyway...

Dr. Holeczek,

are you all right?

Anyway, Stash is a jackass.

And I'm not living with a jackass.

Conversation over.

Finished.

Another thing. They tell me there's

a lot of old people in Arizona.

That could make for

a very difficult job market.

Dr. Holeczek, are you

in possession of the gun?

See?

"Luzzano bakeries,

Italian breads and cakes."

They're spaghetti makers.

But it's better than nothin'.

Wait, wait, wait.

You're lookin' for a job?

Yeah. Find me one.

I'll pay ya 20 bucks.

Okay, so you don't want to go to Arizona.

That's fine. Where are you gonna go?

- I'm gonna stay right here. - Rocky,

they're gonna come in here and get you.

Good.

I just wouldn't want to be

the first guy through the door.

Michael, what the hell's

goin' on up there?

How about if I find you

something in Bloomfield?

- It's a nice neighborhood. - Yeah, the Polanski

brothers lived there, sons of b*tches.

What's the matter with you?

I'm not goin' there.

What about Oakland

over by the hospital?

- Nah, too expensive.

- I'll pay for it.

You will? With what?

"Grow with us. Sara Lee Foods."

I'd be happy to.

Rocky, nobody's gonna hire you anymore.

You're too goddamn old.

Get the hell outta here.

Who asked ya to come?

Go home!

Fine. You think I don't have things to do?

I got things to do. You do what ever you want.

You want to move to Columbus?

Why the hell would

I want to do that?

To live with me. What do you say, Rock?

You want to live with me?

- You got no beds.

- What? Of course I got beds.

A mattress on the floor

is not a bed.

- That was the old place. I got

a new place. - It's got beds?

- One. You get it. I'll take the couch.

- Where did you get the couch?

Rocky, yes or no?

I've lived in this place

50-somethin' years.

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