Role Models Page #2

What? That's not a motto.

That's just you

saying a bunch of things.

You know, Beth's right.

I'm a dick.

Hey, I'm in a rut, just

going from school to school

selling poison to

our nation's youth.

It's not poison.

It's got juice in it.

You know, I'm 35 years old.

I got nothing to

show for my life.

I figured I'd be something,

something good,

a professor, engineer.

I don't know.

Figured I'd be

married. I'd...

You know what? We're

making a detour. What?

We're making a detour.

Where?

We're making a detour.

Why?

Dude, you're too jacked up on

Minotaur. This is a mistake.

It's fine. Look,

I'll be right back.

Hey, we gotta be at the Blue

Valley Middle School by 1:30.

Yep!

No, I don't want

to plea-bargain.

I didn't do it.

Mr. Garvin, I just don't know what

other options we have, you know,

because they have this clear

videotape of you stealing

a lot of TVs.

Guys! Go, go, go.

That could be any bald guy.

Look at me. Me, David Garvin,

stealing TVs.

Who would believe it?

That is not me.

Hey, hi.

I need to talk to you.

Danny, I'm with a client,

so we'll talk later.

I can go.

No, no. You stay.

I'm not going anywhere

until you talk to me.

Excuse me one...

Thank you.

What? Fast.

All right, you were right.

I'm a dick. I'm a dick!

You're dickish.

Yes, I'm dickish.

I'm a dickish dick, and I'm

in a rut. We're in a rut.

Let's shake things up.

I have an idea.

Let's get married.

I don't have a ring.

Are you serious?

Mazel tov!

No.

Never mind.

What?

No.

Why?

Because despite this very well

thought out and romantic proposal,

I'm not that interested in

becoming Mrs. Dick-in-a-rut.

Heard that.

Really?

Did you hear that?

Danny?

Maybe you heard that because

you're 2 feet away from us.

That's another one I hate.

"Heard that!"

You don't get married

to get out of a rut.

You get married

because you love someone

and you don't want to spend

your life without them.

Who is this guy? Thank you,

Mr. Garvin. He's a thief.

Falsely accused.

Oh, well.

He looks like Phil Collins.

Yeah. I know.

Look, life is hard,

all right?

We've lived together for

seven years... You know what?

Danny, life is hard, and you've

become the hardest part of my life.

I should really go.

No, you sit down.

You know, Danny?

We do need to

shake things up.

I know!

That's what I'm saying!

I'm moving out.

Wait a minute.

Are you breaking up with me?

Yeah.

Really?

Wow.

Today sucks.

Look, Danny, whenever a door

closes, another opens, okay?

You just have

to look for it.

And, seriously,

you're gonna get

the most insane

sympathy-rebound p*ssy.

And this is a good

month for that, too.

I don't want that.

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