Roger Dodger

Synopsis: Set against the bright lights of Manhattan, a tale which takes a comic, urbane look at the modern male ego at war in the singles scene trenches. Roger Swanson is a hopelessly cynical advertising copywriter with a razor-sharp wit who believes he has mastered the art of manipulating women. But Roger's seemingly foolproof world of smooth talk and casual sex begins to unravel when he is paid a surprise visit by his teenager nephew, Nick. Hoping to settle, once and for all, the issue of his virginity, Nick begs Roger to school him in the art of seducing women. Welcoming the challenge, Roger guides Nick through the city's wild nightlife for an all-night crash course, only to realize that he--the adult--still has something to learn about what women, and men, really want.
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director(s): Dylan Kidd
Production: Artisan Entertainment
  12 wins & 14 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.0
Metacritic:
75
Rotten Tomatoes:
88%
R
Year:
2002
106 min
$1,169,941
413 Views


What's happening right now|is important only in the context...

of our continuing evolution|as a species.

Roger, all I'm saying is that I wish my|sister would learn to read a subway map.

By saying that, you disregard|the primary importance...

of utility in human relationships.

Our ability--|Men's ability to read maps...

to navigate, makes us useful.

You should discourage your sister|from even looking at a map.

Are you saying that we women|have an inferior sense of direction?.

Which way is north,Joyce,|without looking around?.

What?.

You heard me. Point north.|Quick. North.

Quick. North.

North. North.

- You're right.|- Is he right?.

- He's right.|- Very impressive.

As she has throughout history...

the female responds to the male|who displays the most utility.

By honing those skills|which make me useful...

I stave off|my inevitable obsolescence.

You stay home honing your ability|to program a VCR?.

My VCR's been flashing 1 2:00|for three years.

What else, Roger?.

Oh, driving a standard shift.|Lifting heavy things.

- Air guitar.|- Yes, yes.

Go ahead and chuckle, okay?.

But until women evolve the ability|to move objects telepathically--

and they will--

physical strength|remains a primary utility.

Here's to brute strength then.

Roger, you're forgetting|a very important male utility.

What's that?. Barbecuing?.

Sex.

Yeah. I want a guy to do more|than just program my VCR.

Oh, I'll program your VCR, baby,|like you never had it.

It's a top-loader.|You thinkyou can handle that?.

Interestingly, a group of scientists|in England...

just announced their intention|to fertilize an egg...

without the use of sperm cells.

I don't understand that.

Every cell in the human body|contains a copy of the genome pattern.

The only reason sperm cells|have all the fun is that up until now...

they were the only ones with access.

Within Christopher's lifetime,|artificial insemination...

will render sperm as useless|as an assembly line worker in Detroit.

Luckily, my accountant set up a golden|parachute for my sperm years ago.

In case they were downsized.

Just so you know, Roger,|you know that we women...

make love because we like it.

- Not just to procreate.|- Yes.

- But are men absolutely necessary?.|- I don't know that.

Think of the structure|of the female genitalia.

Wait. Wait.|Okay, got it.

What is the most sensitive part|of the vagina?.

-I can't believe we've gotten into this.|-I thinkyou know this, Donovan.

It's the clitoris, first discovered|by Renaldus Columbus in 1 559.

He thought it was India.

Oh, no!. No!.

The crown of the clitoris|contains 8,000 nerve fibers.

It's a far great concentration|than in any part of the male body...

even our fingertips.

It is the most efficient,|pleasure-delivery system...

ever devised by nature.

Now, ask yourself...

why didn't the clitoris end up|inside the vagina...

so that intercourse|would be naturally...

compellingly, constantly pleasurable|for a woman?.

- I know the answer.|- Yes, Ms. Maynard.

Because in primitive time,|women died of childbirth.

So for intercourse to be|too pleasurable...

wouldn't make sense|from a Darwinian standpoint.

- I'm impressed.|- Absolutely right.

- What does that tell us?.|- Evolution is looking out for us girls?.

- Exactly.|- That for women...

intercourse and sexual fulfillment|were never intended to intersect.

New technology|just makes it official.

Future generations ofwomen will evolve|clitorises-- "clitori, clitorati"--

"Clitorissimo."

that are larger, longer,|even more sensitive.

And a woman's ability, as well as|her desire to self-stimulate...

will increase exponentially...

as intercourse is robbed|of its procreative utility.

- I'm confused and frightened.|- You should be.

The species is not static.|We're in a constant state of flux.

Two genders has been|the default setting for one reason only:

So far it's been the only way|to propagate the race.

Is there any species|that just has one gender...

that doesn't have male/female?.

Starfish, for one.

Next time I see a starfish,|I'm gonna tell him to go f*** himself.

Come on. You love it.

No, we don't.

So where are we headed?.

Equality?.|Equality, what is that?.

Is that a principle of nature?.

We all sit around|reading subway maps together.

No. Of course not.|Natural selection.

Now that is a principle of nature.

Selection. Something has to lose.|Something has to be defeated...

in order for something else|to be selected.

So, what does this mean?.

We have to take orders from Joyce|for the rest of lives.

That's right. I like that.

It means that 1 0 or 1 5 generations|from now...

men will be reduced to servitude.

Technology and evolution|will have combined...

to exclude sperm from procreation...

and our final destiny will be|to lift couches...

and wait for that day|when telepathy overcomes gravity...

and our gender's last remaining utility|is lost forever.

Forever.

Oh, my God, Roger.

- What?. I'm done.|- Then I rest my case.

Thank you.

Love you people.

Yeah, this is good.

-Jesus!.|- No, just me.

How did you get in here?.

- Where did you get those?.|- Copied them from yours.

- When?.|- Last week when you sent me for bagels.

Give them to me.

Aren't you tired of constantly|having to buzz me in here?.

See how your brain works?. How does|once a week turn into "constantly"?.

Actually, last week was two times,|including, I believe, Friday...

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Dylan Kidd

Dylan Kidd (born August 30, 1969) is an American film director, producer and screenwriter best known for directing and writing the 2002 American film Roger Dodger. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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