Robodoc Page #2

Synopsis: Plagued by uninsured patients, greedy insurance companies, heartless health care conglomerates, and stressed out doctors, the health care delivery system is on the verge of a total breakdown - and Jake Gorman couldn't be happier. The egomaniacal medical malpractice attorney has it all. His face adorns billboards, his ads run constantly on TV and radio, while his army of informants tip him off to profitable new cases. Suing doctors has made Jake a famous and very wealthy man. Jake never met a doctor he couldn't sue, until now. As a cost cutting measure at its hospitals, R.I.P Healthcare has developed the perfect doctor. MD 63 (a.k.a. Robo-Doc) is a robotic doctor whose data bank contains all the medical knowledge in the world, and therefore Robo-Doc CAN'T make a mistake. Robo-Doc was designed to save both money and lives. Success would bring flawless, affordable health care to all and spell ruin for Jake Gorman.
Genre: Comedy, Sci-Fi
Director(s): Stephen Maddocks
Production: National Lampoon Inc.
 
IMDB:
4.2
R
Year:
2009
96 min
Website
26 Views


and executives.

It is my honor to serve as president

of RIP Healthcare.

As many of you know, I was the owner of the

Bionics and Medical Devices division for years,

what many of you don't know, however,

is that I was born without a heart.

There's no heartbeat.

This baby has no heart.

I was rushed to the neo-natal

intensive care unit,

and there received the first ever

fully-automated internal combustion

artificial heart

ever produced by

the Medical Devices division

of RIP healthcare.

This baby saved my life.

And since the company saved my life,

I thought it was only my

duty to save the company.

And I have.

RIP Healthcare will enjoy a profit

of no less than $3 billion

this fiscal quarter alone.

But we do have a problem

You see, each year we lose literally

hundreds of millions of dollars

in medical malpractice lawsuits

brought against our doctors

by sleazy, slimy, low-life,

blood-sucking, leaching lawyers.

But what can we do?

We're a hospital.

We need doctors,

and doctors make mistakes.

After all, they're only human, right?

Not any more.

What if I were to tell you

that we can have a doctor that works

A doctor that knows everything,

a doctor that can do anything,

a doctor that makes no mistakes?

You'd say I was crazy.

You'd say I was

a raving lunatic, wouldn't you?

Well, ladies and gentlemen,

I give you the future of medicine.

I give you medical device MD-63.

Made with the latest space-age composite

materials and microprocessors,

packing 350 gigabytes of RAM

and a 2.4 liter air-cooled engine,

MD-63 can effectively,

efficiently and inexpensively,

do the work of a dozen human doctors.

MD-63 will now demonstrate his ability

to perform the world's

fastest physical examination.

Ah, John from the mail room

was kind enough to volunteer

to be the first patient.

Okay.

MD-63...

...begin.

Oh, my gosh!

He's totally crushing that guy's nuts.

Shut him down!

- I'm trying!

- Shut him down!

We give you $3 billion of research money,

and you give us a defective,

ball-busting bucket of bolts.

Frank, how nice of you to stand up

and volunteer to be the next patient.

Meeting adjourned.

Let's go, hurry up.

You.

Get that high-tech, groin-grabbing,

crotch-crunching nutcracker fixed! Now.

MD-63 starts tomorrow morning

at North Mercy hospital.

Did you say North Mercy?

Did you say tomorrow?

Yes, have you got a problem with that?

No, no. No problem.

Good.

Because he will be in that hospital

tomorrow as a doctor,

or the two of you will be in the hospital

as patients.

Pasqual, stay with them,

make sure they get it done.

Look at my client!

Look at the hideous scar you left across

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Doug Gordon

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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