Road to Zanzibar

Are you wearing old dreams

Breaking out at the seams

They should be new

And have I got the bargain

You lucky people you

Here's a hollyhock scent

that makes a lady or gent

Feel well-to-do

And the price

fits your pocket

You lucky people you

Now here's

a green velvet landscape

And to prove

I'm no rogue

I'll add

a smart-looking rainbow

Something that's

always in vogue

I've a wonderful buy

In a wraparound sky

of moonlight blue

And it's yours

for a love song

You lucky people you

That's for nothing, folks,

and probably worth it too.

But inside is the big show.

If you're in the market

for a thrill...

and if you wish to witness

the most hair-raising,

spine-tingling,

bloodcurdling spectacle...

ever presented on

the continent of Africa,

don't fail to see

Fearless Frazier.

Fearless Frazier,

the living bullet!

Hurry, hurry.

Come over, come over.

Think of it, folks.

This human torch,

this indomitable character,

soaked in kerosene and...

shot through a flaming hoop of

fire far into the ocean. Chuck!

What's the matter? It's

Fearless. He fainted again.

Give him the smelling salts.

As I was saying...

this character,

this man with nerves of steel,

is shot through

a flaming hoop of fire.

Come on, Fearless.

Come on, boy.

Come on, Fearless.

There you are.

You're gonna be

all right.

Oh, swell.

Why do I do this?

Why do I do it?

You oughta see the mob outside.

You're gonna clear 100 bucks.

That's why I do it.

Hey. Where were

you last night?

I left you a note. Yeah,

out with your grandmother.

Mm-hmm. Your grandmother crawled

into bed with me at 4:00...

and had lip rouge

all over his face.

Right this way, folks.

Step lively now.

There he is,

the mighty Fearless Frazier.

Douse your cigarettes. Fearless

is covered with kerosene...

from the tip ofhis head

to his 12 double A's.

And when he hits

the fiery hoop in midair,

he will burst into flame

before your very eyes.

Come back next week. My partner's working

on an idea to make me explode in midair.

That's not a bad

idea at all, Fearless.

I had to open my big mouth.

Are you ready, Fearless?

Ready?

Hmm?

I don't mind being drafted,

but not as ammunition.

We have to be careful

how we aim this instrument.

Last week we were two feet off

and we sunk the S.S. Idaho.

We went right through "Ida" and

there wasn't much left of"ho. "

Yo-ho.

Ho.

Folks, one mighty charge

from this little derringer...

and Fearless Frazier

will fly so far and so fast...

that his head will arrive by

streamliner and his feet on a local.

If it's all the same to you,

I'd like a photo finish.

All right, folks,

Fearless Frazier flies again.

Hold it! Hold it!

Hold it!

Okay.

Ready, little lady.

Roll the drums, please.

All right, folks.

Everybody watching?

The living bullet is on his way.

Here we go!

Ohh!

That concludes the first

part of our performance.

Now we all repair

to the riverbank...

where we hope to find the mighty

Fearless unscathed and unharmed.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you.

Ah, there's

my little man.

Won't you come in? I

don't want to crowd you.

Everything all right? We have to

have more room when the baby comes.

Don't pull that lever so

fast. What's the matter?

You're gonna open the trap door

and the dummy will come out.

Nobody will know the

difference. Come on, here we go.

Wait for my legs.

Here we go.

All right.

We got it.

Hey, you all right?

I feel fine.

Woop!

I feel fine.

You all right? You got

a pint of blood with ya?

I don't know how you

"Svengalied" me into this.

It took my mother three years

to get me to eat spinach.

Three minutes of talk from you and I'm

getting fan mail from casket companies.

Here's some

fan mail for you.

Do you know that 94 of those federal

diplomas clinked into our till?

There's some music for

you. Oh, sing out loud.

Just 94. What is the total?

I'll get into the department.

We have plenty of happy cabbage. How much?

Look at that.

5,200 skins.

Those ever-loving

Morgenthau mashnotes.

Beginning to add up, isn't it?

We'll have enough to pay the tax.

Stick with me and if you live,

we're gonna do all right.

Well, we can't miss...

Hey, where you going?

Just going.

I know you're going,

but with who?

With "whom. " That's proper.

Don't give me that stuff.

I want to know with who. With grandmother.

She told me to give you

the brush.

Come here.

There's a fire!

Somebody must've dropped

a cigarette.

Let's get out of here.

Yes, indeed. We gotta go.

Beat it! They're after ya!

Who's after what for which?

Our dummy went through the big top and

the carnival's on fire. Ohhh! Let's go.

Our week

was up anyway.

Don't come this way. They're

after you. Go the other way.

What is this? A bus station?

Wait! Bring the cannon!

I'll get the cannon!

Get the cann...

We take this light bulb, courtesy

of the Nairobi electrical outlet.

And we place it in

the mouth of the subject.

Engineers have agreed that 500

volts is fatal to a human being,

but Fearless is going

to take 1,000 volts.

Are you ready?

Here we go.

All right, folks.

Hurry! Come over!

See Fearless Frazier, the human

bat with only man-made wings.

Give 'em a flutter. His fierce

character will climb 100 feet.

Like a swallow from Capistrano,

he will soar to earth...

in a perfect

three-point landing.

All right, men,

bring it around here.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes