Ricky Gervais: Out of England 2 - The Stand-Up Special Page #3

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If I'd have come out here

and go, "I used to be a heroin addict...

I used to mug people and

sh*t myself in doorways..."

- ( Cheering, applause )

- Exactly. "Oh yeah!

He... he hasn't done

those things for a while.

He hasn't done those things

that we never did

in the first place."

Why are you applauding someone

for suddenly acting

like a normal member

of society?

It's like I've lost

a bit of weight.

I've lost about 20 lbs.

Exactly!

- ( Cheering, applause )

- What? No no.

You're basically applauding me

for only eating

as much as I need now.

I should have... I should have

always been doing that.

I got fat because I was

a greedy, lazy bastard.

There's no other explan...

and I needed people to...

They come up to me now and they go,

"Oh, well done. You look great."

But they weren't telling me

I looked terrible.

They're basically saying

I looked terrible,

but no one told me at the time.

It was really taboo.

I needed waiters

to come over and go,

"F*** off.

You've had enough."

And I've been criticized

in the past

for having a go at fat people.

I've never had

a go at fat people.

I've only ever pointed out

the fact that you get fat

if you take in more calories

than you burn off..

That's simple science.

I don't judge them in any

other aspect of their life.

But that's what happens...

You get fat if you take in

more calories

than you burn off.

That's indisputable, okay?

Now the thing is people think

I'm having a go.

I'm not because

I don't judge them.

If I see a fat person, I don't

make assumptions about them

other than how they got fat.

And, this is the other thing,

they...

No, wait wait.

Not only is that

what makes you fat...

People know that's what's

making them fat.

No one got fat

behind their own back.

No one ate and then went,

"What the f***'s that?"

It's not a surprise.

It's a gradual process.

You have loads of time

to back out

from this project at any...

Also, no one's sneaking

into thin people's apartments

and then injecting their lettuce

with a million calories.

That doesn't happen, okay?

They know what's doing...

If you go to a bloke and he's surrounded

by cakes and pies

and you go, "You know what's

making you fat, don't ya?"

He doesn't go,

"Is it all the running?"

He knows what...

But I don't make judgments

other than how they got fat.

If I see a fat person,

I don't go,

"Oh, he's fat, therefore he's jolly,"

right?

A lot of them are miserable,

aren't they?

If... if I see a fat girl,

I don't go,

"Oh, she'd be pretty

if she lost weight."

That's rarely the case.

So don't fall for that.

A lot of them started eating

because they had f*** all

to lose, so...

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