Return to Nuke 'Em High Volume 1 Page #3

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I bet I know what it is.

- You do?

- Well, of course I do.

Don't worry, honey.

Someday you'll find the right boy.

( CHUCKLES )

The right boy, yeah.

And don't you worry,

he won't be some deadbeat

goat sucker like your

stinking father,

that twat.

What's that?

Looks like

foreshadowing?

Dinner's at 7:
00.

It's tuna.

Please, God,

get me out of this

Tromaville hole.

Ugh.

( BIRDS CHIRPING )

( YAWNS )

( FARTS )

Nooo!

Kevin. Kevin.

No.

Macaroni.

I'm calling

But no one will be hearing...

( WESTLY OVER SPEAKERS )

Attention, students,

due to a recent outbreak

of jock itch and rectal rashes,

Coach Sandusky would like

all members of the boys'

wrestling team

to surrender their jockstraps

to him immediately.

( PLAYING AND SINGING OUT OF TUNE )

Amazing

Grace...

How sweet...

Attention, students.

Now I know you're all

looking forward

to today's luncheon

Super Duper Taco Tuesday

Spectacular,

but it's come to my attention

that there's a blogger out there

by the name of Lettuce Lover 69

and they run the blog called

Pollution Nerdz.

I have checked in on this

Pollution Nerdz blog

18 times this month.

Now this blog is spreading

a lot of slanderous lies

about Tromaville High

and Tromorganic Foodstuffs Inc.

They also have

a very bad attitude

towards conservative

principles in general.

( SOBS )

Leave Ronald Reagan alone.

- ( BLOWS WHISTLE )

- ( GIRLS GIGGLING )

Now I'm all for free speech.

Otherwise why would I put out

these thought-inhibiting

announcements every morning?

But these lies about

contaminated, cheap

and 98% Plasti filler

tainted foodstuffs

are just malarkey.

Have you seen my duck?

His name is Kevin.

( SNICKERS )

Oh.

LAUREN:
Have you seen

my missing duck?

SANDUSKY:
Can a duck

fill you up like Jesus?

What kind of god

allows an innocent duck

to go missing?

Hey, there's that snotty rich girl.

I think she really likes me.

- Hey, Twinkie.

- Hey!

Ah!

What a rich,

stuck-up b*tch.

Why won't anyone go out with me?

Yo, did you hear

Principal Westly's announcement?

Are you gonna take down

Pollution Nerdz?

Yo, Jeraldo!

Caw-caw!

Caw-caw!

Uh, would Gertrude Stein

take down her blog?

Hell, no. So I stay full steam ahead

with Pollution Nerdz

and let's sally forth.

Gertrude Stein was a rich

slacker bullshitter

and her so-called poetry stunk.

And please don't even go there

with Sally Forth...

another sexually repressed

white American soccer mom

who had boring adventures at work

and at home with no vibrator.

You deserve your own

PBS special.

- You know what you deserve?

- What's that, Henry Gates?

Two feet shoved up

your f***ing...

Guys, my mom made me

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