Range 15 Page #2

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you were Mark Whalberg.

- No, the little f***er

only played me on TV.

- Stop embarrassing me

in front of my friends.

- Bro, it's so f***ing

good you're here, man.

- I know.

Hey, you guys have been

saving my ass so many times,

I'm gonna do it for you.

Come on, stack on me,

let's get your frogman up.

Don't worry about a thing!

Hey mother f***ers,

you want some of me?

- That was a short book.

- This is how I'm gonna die?

- Looks like we're the

lone survivors now.

- Alright boys, bring it in.

- Are you about to go

full officer speech?

- What?

No, of course not.

- It's confirmed

we're facing some type

of zombie apocalypse outside.

- Are you sure?

- Try to stay with

me, simple Jack,

but judging from our boy here.

Looks like a blow to

the head takes them out.

- That sounds like pretty

standard zombie rules to me.

- Now, did anybody see

any weapons laying around?

- They have some

Billy clubs over there

and someone else

chained to the bench.

- Billy clubs it is.

What about a vehicle?

- The bar is at least

15 miles from here.

We're better off hitting

the pd impound lot.

- Yeah, there's some guns

and sh*t over there too.

- Alright, what's the distance?

- From here?

Two, maybe two and a half miles.

- Ah sh*t, that's far.

- Aright, let's maintain

360 degrees of security.

Stay tight, we don't need

to take it in the rear.

- Like your mom?

- That's what she said.

- It's time to Vandanham up.

- Yeah.

- If you speak his name again,

I will slap you and your

mothers delicious f***ing mouth.

- Somebodies jealous.

- He's right man, I actually

kinda like that guy.

- Come on, even

his lifetime movie

was f***ing awesome.

I can't believed

he played himself.

- Hey Gene, welcome home.

- Gene, you're alive.

- That f***ing guys not.

- They said your entire

unit died on the news.

- This my entire

unit, right here.

- Oh my god, it's been so hard.

Oh it's really hard

and so big.

- A soldier came home!

A soldier came home!

- The 27 minute sex

scene was a bit much.

- I thought it was tasteful.

- I had to jerk off twice.

- The only boner

I have right now

is for killing zombies.

You f***ing ready?

Let's roll.

- Sh*t, you alright man?

- I think I'm hurt really bad.

Don't worry about me,

my ranger training

will get me through.

- That's the spirit bro,

were you in bat?

- Not anymore, I'm in delta

but I was in 4th battalion.

Just want to get

back to men, sarge.

- 4th battalion?

Bro, there's only three.

- I was special force.

I mean...

A top secret!

- Wait, I know this guy.

- What?

- He's not in the military,

he's an air-softer

that works at the DMV.

- F*** stolen valor

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