Qwerty Page #2

well, my step-dad,

what would you like?

The flask or the belt?

His 60th birthday, so

I guess it's kind of a biggie.

Um...

Oh, never mind. You're not

an a**hole. How would you know?

- Have you tried Fetish for Men?

- No, thank you.

- It's scent-sational!

- I'm allergic to perfume!

- Oh no. It's cologne.

[CONTINUOUS SNEEZING]

Hey! What? Are you just

gonna stand there?

That's great, buddy.

Lot of help.

[LAUGHTER]

- Maybe it's a sock.

- I'm hoping it's not. [LAUGHTER]

- I think he had a bikini wax.

- Y-you you gotta be kidding.

We think it's a sock.

Fifty-five dollars!

How can this be happening?!

- Fifty-five dollars

for underwear?

- Sure.

- It's designer.

- No, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no.

This! This! Definitely that...

is insanity people!

What? You! What're you doing?

- Um, buying underwear.

- No

- You don't want this.

- Yes, I do!

No, no, no, no, no.

Why do you want them?

- I-I like the ad!

[LAUGHTER]

The ad is designed to trick you

into paying 55 goddamn

dollars for underwear!

Please, give me my underwear.

No! You can't have that lying,

cheating, thieving underwear!

What're you...

What're you doing, man?

You're better

than the underwear.

You deserve more!

You're better

than your underwear.

Do you hear me?

Come on! Everyone!

Say it with me! You're better

than your underwear.

Come on!

Say it with me!

Come on! You're better

than your underwear! Come on!

Everybody!

You're better than

your underwear!

You're better than your

underwear! Come on!

I'm better than my underwear.

Yes! Yes! You, sneezing lady!

Definitely better than your

underwear. Wait!

Wait a minute! Goddammit,

I work here!

Where's the sneezing woman?

Come on guys! Come on.

This is ridiculous!

Come on! I work here nights!

Causing a scene like that

in front of paying customers!

Freedom of speech, man.

Who's in charge here?

Uh, is there something I can

help you with, miss?

- I demand you release this man!

- [BOTH]:
Excuse me?

I'm a paying customer. I bought

all kinds of crap here today...

- and this man...

- I saved her life.

- Mm-hmm. When I... when I was...

- Having trouble breathing!

- B-because of all the... cologne!

- Perfume!

- Evil perfume b*tch!

- She sprayed me.

Right in her face!

- And I'm allergic

and I kept sneezing.

- Cologne and perfume

are the same thing!

- It was horrible!

- She could sue.

But this man, he was the

only one to help me.

- Miss, he tried to cause a riot

in men's underwear.

I should have him arrested.

- What!?

- $55 for underwear?

- No ass is worth that much!

- I agree.

- Go away, you're fired.

- Fired?

Fired. Now leave. Both of you.

I don't want either one of you

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