Problem Child 3: Junior in Love Page #2

He's so famous he's got his own cereal box.

Big deal. What have they got that I ain't got?

A prayer. Look, you're out of your league.

Why don't you talk to my sister Bertha?

She thinks you're hot.

Who let her out of Jurassic Park?

- Did you just insult my sister?

- No. I insulted T-Rex.

- Where are you going?

- To meet Tiffany.

You? You don't stand a snowball's chance

in a microwave.

Sure I do. All I got to do is talk to her.

What's going on? My heart's pounding.

My palms are sweating. And I'm thinking

thoughts I never thought before.

Junior and Tiffany. Tiffany and Junior.

Sure, it sounds crazy,

but somehow it all makes sense.

Here goes nothing.

Stand back, boys,

and watch a master at work.

- Hi.

- Say hello.

- I'm Tiffany.

- Tell her your name.

Talk to her. Say anything.

I saw a dead cat yesterday.

- Get lost, Healy.

- Yeah, beat it, troll.

Nice tie.

Children. Children.

Listen up, children.

Now, everyone choose a partner.

And choose wisely.

Because just around the corner

is our annual costume ball.

Where two lucky children will be chosen

King and Queen!

- Tiffany, may I have this dance?

- My pleasure.

- Hello.

- Oh, no.

Oh, yes.

Hey, what's the big idea?

Put me down right now.

Tiffany!

Duke. He thinks he's so cool.

I know just how to heat him up.

And Blade, he's flying a little too high.

Somebody's gonna have to shoot him down.

Ready, aim, firel

And Corky McCullum,

he's got a pretty big head.

Maybe I should take a little off the top.

They will pay. Oh, yes, they will pay.

I am Mr Burtis,

and unlike some of the teachers you've had...

...I've got rules, lots and lots of rules.

Rules that will be followed at all times.

Rules that cannot and will not be broken.

You.

Little boy, what are you gawking at?

The bell.

Why?

You'll see.

Uh-oh.

Thanks, I learned a lot!

Bye-bye, Billy. And, remember,

brush three times a day

or this deadly fungus will grow in your mouth,

cover up your entire head

and make your skull cave in.

Next up, Junior Healy.

Oh, no, you don't!

- No, no, let me out!

- Gotcha!

That's got to hurt.

- Is it a cavity?

- Is it a cavity?

Is it a cavity? Mister,

your son's mouth is a disaster area.

What have you been eating,

kid, hand grenades?

Speak up, cotton-mouth, I can't hear you.

A little dentist humour.

Nurse Kiki, the X-ray.

Yes, Doctor.

Oh, Ben... Can I call you Ben?

Well, I just did so I guess it's a little late.

Ben, did anyone ever tell you

you have excellent teeth?

How would you like some free dental floss?

Here, keep that for yourself.

Isn't it heinous?

Your child has a rare condition

known as Appaloosa gingivitis nervosa.

Now, what this means

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