Problem Child 2 Page #2

Synopsis: Junior's back in his first adventure since his last! Junior and Ben move to Mortville which seems like the perfect town to live in. The Healys have a nice new house--and Junior get's a cool new room! And young women have formed a line at Ben's door in order to get a piece of him (romantically). Ben does feel he should get remarried so Junior can have a mom, so while Junior adjusts to his new school which includes a little girl who's as bratty as Junior and a teenage brain-dead ignoramous bully in Junior's sixth grade class, Ben finds some dates, which Junior sends running for the hills, in the meantime Junior pulls his infamous tricks on people: blowing up barbecues, taping the bully to the chalkboard, videotaping his babysitter and her boyfriend having sex and broadcasting it for the whole neighborhood to see, same old same old. Meanwhile, Ben meets the gorgeous school nurse (after the school's satellite dish get's pushed on his head) and they, well he, believes it's love at first sit
Genre: Comedy, Family
Director(s): Brian Levant
Production: MCA Universal Home Video
  3 nominations.
 
IMDB:
4.6
Rotten Tomatoes:
7%
PG-13
Year:
1991
90 min
1,729 Views


I'll have to call you back.

I have to deal with

one of the little weenies right now.

OK, call you back.

Send the little sweetheart in.

Hey, pea-brain. What are you doing here?

What am I doing here?

What are you doing here?

I belong here. You belong in Cold River.

This is Mortville. What are you doing here?

You're not here. That's it.

That's the only answer. You're not here.

You're not here. I'm imagining you.

You're a figment of my imagination.

If I was a figment of your imagination,

could I do this?

Oh!

Did something crawl in here and die?!

You disgusting kid!

You disgusting, flatulating kid!

Whoa! I just had a new paint job, too.

This is horrible.

- What grade are you in?

- Third.

Third. That means you're here

for another four years.

This is a mistake. This is a big mistake,

'cause you are a genius.

You are so intelligent.

Anyone who can break wind like that

has to have a mind.

So I'm gonna pass you on to the sixth grade.

In one year,

you're gonna be in another school.

My dad says third grade

is the foundation of my education.

Your dad says that. Your dad is a moron!

He's a moron!

Know what a moron is?

That's what your dad is.

Anyway, you don't belong here.

You belong in the sixth grade.

That's where you are,

because you're a genius, kid.

A genius.

Sixth grade? I Wowl

I should fart in more people's offices.

Oh, no, not another one. How many kids

are they gonna make me teach?

Get in there and find a seat. Hustle, small fry.

I'm not gonna have you

hold up my class all year. Move it.

Let's start with a nice easy review

to see how much you under-achievers

remember from last year.

Polly, what's 17 times 8?

- 136.

- Good.

Richard, what's 72 divided by negative 9?

- Negative 8, sir.

- Fine.

Murph.

Murph. What's three plus two?

Four.

You've been in the sixth grade

since I started here.

I really want to get you out this year.

Please work with me. What's three plus two?

Nine?

This is gonna be a long year.

Five, all right? The answer's five.

You!

- What are you saying?

- I said five.

I'm glad somebody's paying attention.

Polly, pass out the workbooks.

I'm gonna rummage in the storage closet,

see if I can find something for Murph.

Who let the baby into the sixth grade?

What's in your bag?

- Your diapers?

- No, my lunch, pin-head.

Little kid doesn't know who he's talking to.

I'm senior student in this school.

No sh*t, you've been here since 1970.

Oh, you're gonna hurt!

This is your last day of school. Ever.

Maybe Dad's right. Maybe Mortville

is gonna be a great place to live.

Good morning, Miss Dumore.

They missed a payment?

Toss 'em in the street.

But, ma'am, that's a nursing home.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote

Scott Alexander

Scott Alexander was born on June 16, 1963 in Los Angeles, California, USA. He is a writer and producer, known for 1408 (2007), Ed Wood (1994) and Man on the Moon (1999). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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