Private Parts

Synopsis: Having always wanted to be a disc-jockey, Howard Stern works his way painfully from radio at his 1970's college to a Detroit station. It is with a move to Washington that he hits on an outrageous off-the-wall style that catches audience attention. Despite his on-air blue talk, at home he is a loving husband. He needs all the support he can get when he joins NBC in New York and comes up against a very different vision of radio.
Director(s): Betty Thomas
Production: WARNER BROTHERS PICTURES
  2 wins & 3 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.8
Metacritic:
67
R
Year:
1997
109 min
117 Views

He was offensive.

He was obnoxious.

He was disgusting.

Do you want me to go on?

Once he wanted me

to approve a contest

where he would

give a new toilet

to the listener with

the largest bowel movement.

On the air.

I mean, you can imagine

the logistics of that.

Howard Stern:

You know, when I look back

on this moment in my life,

I really wanted it to work.

I wanted this to be

the biggest moment

in the history of entertainment.

I'm not kidding.

I wanted everyone

to wake up the next morning

talking about me,

Howard Stern.

That's the kind

of thinking, though,

that usually

gets me into trouble.

John Stamos:

I'm here to introduce

the next presenter.

Believe me, a lot of people

refused to introduce this guy,

but, uh...

Is this safe?

When you drop,

don't spin around

or the wires

get screwed up.

[Gasps]

...Radio waves

high above America...

[Crowd Cheers]

It's a bird...

I'm making such a mistake.

It's a plane...

No, it's Fartman!

Howard:

Behold, I am Fartman.

Behold, the greatest.

That is me.

The mightiest

of superheroes.

My ass has power!

Screw Superman.

I am Fartman.

Fartman rules.

Fartman.

Fartman!

And now, in an extraordinary

display of my powers,

I will show you

something so marvelous.

Behold.

[Passes Gas]

The lovely

and talented Fartman,

ladies and gentlemen.

Howard:
I got to tell you,

with all this carrying on,

I mean, the way

they were screaming,

at first I really thought

I'd won them over.

I thought I was the Beatles

on Ed Sullivan or something.

Oh, shock...

But did my fellow artists

appreciate

the comedically ironic aspect

of my new superhero character?

No. They just thought

I was an idiot.

You know, most of these people

are Satan-worshipping junkies.

Hey, look, all I want

is for my artistic courage

to be an inspiration

to others.

Instead, I'm a joke.

Excuse me.

I didn't mean

to interrupt.

Embarrassing.

See, that's when I came

to a profound realization...

Everything I do

is misunderstood.

Haah!

Everything I do

is misunderstood.

I mean, think about

what a burden that is.

What a thing

to go through life with.

All I'm trying to do

is be funny,

and I end up

feeling like an asshole.

What a f*cking jerk.

Howard, it was a home run.

You think so?

Absolutely.

And when you said,

"All of Hollywood

can kiss my ass,"

you had every

teenager in the country

eating out of your hand.

My guess is

we'll get coverage

from 200, maybe 300...

[Aria Plays]

Howard.

Howard...

here's your ticket.

OK? Now call me as soon as

you get to New York, will you?

Yo, Fartman.

Love you, man.

Thanks.

All right. So getting back

to what I was talking about...

More than anything, I'd like

the public to appreciate me.

No, forget that.

I want them to love me...

Not the myth, but the man.

The real Howard.

Let me demonstrate my point.

Thank you.

Now, take this woman,

for example.

She hates me.

She doesn't even know me,

but it's clear that she's

totally disgusted by me.

Down the aisle

on your right.

- Excuse me.

- Yes?

You don't possibly have

another seat available for me?

I'm sorry.

We're showing a full load.

Right here on your left.

Full load.

Yes.

Sir, may I help you?

To your right.

Hello.

Hello.

Is this yours?

Yeah. If you want

to read it, you can.

Thank you.

Pfft, I've seen

this look before,

believe me.

It's the look

of misunderstanding.

She thinks I'm a moron.

In fact, all my life,

people have told me I was a moron.

You're a moron.

Now shut up and sit still.

You're a moron.

Now shut up and sit still.

So this is my dad Ben Stern.

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Len Blum

Leonard Solomon "Len" Blum (born 1951) is an award-winning Canadian screenwriter, film producer and film composer. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Private Parts" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 8 Dec. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/private_parts_16273>.

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