Prayers for Bobby Page #9

I'm so sorry.

Aunt Mary...

David is a good person.

All of Bobby's friends were.

When Bobby was here, he was under control.

Then he moves to Portland and someone puts all these ideas into his head.

It wasn't like that.

David cared for Bobby.

We're his family.

We know how to help me,

he wanted to change, to be closer to god.

To be closer to YOU!

Then he went further and further into that life style and he couldn't get out.

Do you believe everything they tell you in church?

I know you and uncle Bob meant with that serment...

Bobby knew the repercussions about homosexual lifestyle.

Bobby was good, descent and kind.

Someone who didn't even know Bobby stood up there and condemned him, and you let him.

Bobby did everything he could to make himself acceptable to you.

He was so good, and bright, and funny. He should be praised.

I'm sorry you can't see it that way.

Maybe you should go.

Fine.

I left Bobby's things in his room.

Bobby!

Hey Mum!

Don't you ever do that again!

I knew it wasn't true.

I knew God would bring you back to me.

Mum, you worry too much.

I'm slowly sinking in a vast lake of quick sands.

A bottomless pool.

I wish I could crawl under a rock and sleep forever.

Noone understands me.

Noone in this house can accept my side of the story.

I can feel god's eyes looking down on me with pity.

I can't never let anyone find out I'm not straight.

It would be so humiliating...

My friends would hate me.

and my family...

Mum.

I've overheard them.

Thank you.

They've said that they hate gays.

And even God hates gays.

It really scares me when they talk that way because now they are talking about me.

I don't wanna choose sin.

I don't.

I'm so mad and frustrated god...

I seem to be at the end of the road.

Why do you remain silent?

May 30th.

Memorial Day Barbecue.

Had fun.

Mum was sweet and funny self.

Like the old Mum...

For a second it felt like the old days.

She smiled at something I said,

and I saw on her eyes that for a second she forgot what she really thinks of me.

The anger never erupts.

My timid nature would never allow a full fledged thunderstorm to occur.

But it's there, on the horizon.

I can feel god's eyes looking down on me with such pity.

He can't help me though.

Because I've chosen sin over righteousness.

Excuse me.

You alright Ed?

Oh yeah, I'm fantastic.

I think we all are. Isn't that obvious?

Ed. We have to deal with this as a family.

That was your answer for Bobby too but it didn't work.

Damned!

I'll go. I'll go.

Excuse me.

Come, Nancy.

You wanna get out of here, maybe go for a beer?

Did he even think about what he would do to us?

He could have called...

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