Powerful Out Women: On the Campaign Trail Page #3

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to challenge Cam Brady for congressman.

And, well...

...believe it or not...

...they want you to run for office.

Dad, that is like the greatest....

This is like the greatest news l've ever heard.

l can't believe this.

All these years l've been begging you

to let me get into politics...

...and right now here it is.

l didn't even know they knew who l was.

Motch brothers.

Well, l'll tell you this.

l'll make you proud. l will.

l'll make you-- l'll make you real proud.

l'd say there's mathematically zero chance

of that happening.

Your brother Tripp is a bull's-eye.

But you look like Richard Simmons

just crapped out a goddamn hobbit.

Dad, if you're still holding a grudge

because l wore Crocs to Mom's funeral...

...like l've told you a thousand times,

l'm sorry.

Mom would've wanted it that way.

She was casual.

l don't even know what to think.

l got so many thoughts

running through my mind...

...about what l can do for the district

and for the town, for the people of Hammond.

Give them a voice.

Put them in the right direction.

l mean, it's a mess out there.

Son, it's no secret

we've never enjoyed each other's company.

You can be so bleak sometimes, Dad.

Hmm.

Did you ever get that calendar l sent

of those animals dressed in human clothing?

l was looking at mine yesterday

because l bought one for myself...

...and it had a giraffe in high heels.

And l thought to myself,

"Who thinks of this stuff?"

l laughed so hard.

l thought it was super cute.

A giraffe is tall enough as is.

Then somebody thought,

"Let's put a giraffe in high heels.

Maybe add a belt.

There was a little bow on him."

Boy, you really are a sad little f***er,

aren't you?

[lN MANDARlN]

WADE:
This is the 14th district of

North Carolina and the city of Hammond.

We are acquiring massive parcels of real estate

under a shell corporation...

...so we can reopen three large factories.

Ostensibly, we own this district.

We think we can operate at the same regulatory

and wage levels as China...

...and eliminate shipping costs.

[lN ENGLlSH]

And your government will cooperate?

We also own

the most important resource of all:

a willing candidate.

Candidate. Your elections are unpredictable.

Mr. Zheng, there's something

you need to know about American politics.

When you've got the money,

nothing is unpredictable.

[CHUCKLES]

CARTER:
Sometimes democracy moves

with the stroke of a pen...

...and tonight Cam Brady

will win his fifth term in Congress...

...simply by registering for the ballot.

That's the perks of running unopposed.

-Check it out. lt's a picture of my dick.

-Oh, come on.

l shaved my pubic hair to look

like a 1 9th-century handlebar mustache.

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