Pork Pie Page #3

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- Without cheese, yep.

- And no... oh, does it have tomato?

- Yes.

Ok, cool. No, I don't want any of that.

Some dick stuffed up my order.

- Huh?

- Some dick stuffed up his order.

Sorry. Uh, can I offer you

a free coke?

Nah. How about some free chips?

- Nah, how about a free burger?

- Nah, how about a free blow job?

I'm sorry. We only offer free coke.

- What the f***?!

- Did you want to supersize those?

F***, no!

Uh, I might cancel my coke order.

You might have to tell someone else.

I don't think I work here anymore.

Do you want

a double coke with that?

Oh, do you need a lift somewhere?

You're not going to Wellington,

are you?

Uh, yeah, we are.

Choice.

- Wait, what's going on?

- It looks like she's in trouble.

Yeah, so are you, mate.

You don't want any more.

Alright.

Whoa!

- Whoa...

- Um...

- Whoa!

- Gosh!

Sorry! Jesus, I'm sorry.

Oh!

Keira1 oh! Oh! Sorry!

- Oh, god.

- Oh, sh*t.

My bad. Whoo!

- Well, that was insane.

- Yeah, it certainly was unusual.

Oh, uh, we've got the flame-grilled

Angus the cow right here.

Cool. Thank you.

And that is the regular Patty,

no cheese, no tomato

or anything interesting at all.

Perfect.

- Hey, what's this?

- Oh, read it.

"How much meat

is in your meat?" What?

"Once you account

for the water content,"

"crushed bone matter

and high-fructose corn syrup,"

"only 4% of your Patty

is actually meat."

That... "Statistically,

there'll be a mix-up in supply"

"which means 50% of that meat

content is actually horsemeat."

Horsemeat. Correct.

What kind of sadistic nutjob would

put that in their burger packaging?

I did. And it's factual.

So what? What are you, some kind

of undercover... Vegan activist?

Not really. I mean, I wore these

to my job interview last week.

"Not your mum, not your milk."

I never hide my beliefs.

- Gotta have principles, bro.

- That's rich coming from you.

Wait. Ok, ok, so...

what if someone's just, like,

innocently eating their burger

and then they come across

your pamphlet and then, boom,

they hurl all over their nan

or their friend or something?

Whoa!

Um... What are we doing?

Oh, we're just checking out

the local shops.

Sarah's souvenir stall?

Yeah, he really likes

kiwi fruit jam.

Really?

- Oh, yeah.

- Hmm.

- Oh, look, it's on special. 5 bucks.

- Oh, wow.

- You should get some.

- Oh...

Oh, you want to? $5. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, let's get some.

Cheapest I've ever seen it.

- Yeah, that's great.

- Let's do it.

E hinee

hoki maira

kamate au...

Hi. You Sarah?

Te aroha e.

So, what do you guys do?

Yeah, what? Mm. What do you...?

What is...?

What is it that you do again, man?

I just... l forgot.

Um, well, l... I work with vehicles.

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