Police Academy Page #2

They must be encouraged

to quit on their own.

- Do you understand?

- I think I understand, sir.

Thank you, Lt. Harris. I'm sure you do.

- Lassard?

- What?

Do you understand?

It's clear as glass, Chief.

Good. Then we all know what to do.

Sure are a lot of spades around here.

Which I think is good.

Very good for the academy.

What the hell are you doing here?

I wanna be a police officer.

What? I can't hear you.

I wanna be a police officer.

Don't unpack.

Time to get thrown out.

- What's your name, cadet?

- Thompson, sir.

- You live around here?

- No, sir.

What's your telephone number?

Come on, eyes front. Telephone number.

Okay, let's see the thighs.

Come on, I haven't got all day. The thighs.

- What in the hell are you doing?

- Meeting women, sir.

What's your name, dirtbag?

Dirtbag?

- Your name?

- Mahoney, sir.

- Get back in line, Mahoney.

- Sir, can I have a second with you?

I don't really belong here.

I'm not ready for this place...

Get back in line.

Now!

Mom, it's all right. Don't worry.

Come here, Princess!

My name is Cmndt. Lassard.

Welcome to the new police force.

Your training time here will last...

fourteen weeks.

You will be schooled in firearms...

police procedures, local laws,

and many, many other things.

After those 12 weeks,

some of you will be police officers...

and some of you will not.

Some of you will be...

Here at the academy...

You will learn...

Princess.

Princess? Looks more like a prince to me.

- Give me that dog.

- But he's mine, sir.

But he's a queer.

Cadets, proceed to the supply room

and draw your uniforms!

Let's go. Move it!

What about guns?

When do we get guns?

Next.

- I'm a size 9, sometimes...

- Next.

You three dirtbags

report to the academy barber...

before you do anything else.

- Where's that?

- Find it, rat face.

Rat face?

He probably meant the other guy.

What's that?

That's where the commandant

and his wife live.

Excuse me.

- Do you know where we get our clothes?

- Yeah. You got to go right over there.

Here? Okay, thanks.

Just go right in

and tell them that Mahoney sent you.

Be out of here by 3:00.

- Move it, dirtbag, I'm first.

- And I'm next.

For important guys like you, I'll wait.

- Okay, let's go. Take it all off.

- You got it.

- Just a little off the side, please.

- You bet.

You can do that?

Sure. This ain't the army, you know.

Let's go!

We've got to find you little babies

a place to sleep.

Better listen up, you fart-blossoms!

- You sure you said Mahoney?

- Yeah, I even spelled it to them.

Copeland and Blankes, in here!

Sir, this man is my personal physician.

I can't live without him.

Right down here,

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