Please Kill Mr. Know It All Page #2
nipples about syndication...
We are so in the money, Sal!
Really?
- Yes, really.
They want a picture.
No problem, I can send them the one
that you took at the picnic last summer.
No, they think you're a guy.
Just tell them it's me.
- I can't.
WHy not?
It's complicated.
How complicated can it be, Patti? You just
send them my bio, they'll meet me and...
Oh.
Don't tell me. You lied?
And then you lied some
more, and you probably...
...lied some more. And
now we can't get out of it.
If the readers find out that
they have been had, we're history.
All they want is a picture,
it's not a big deal.
Where am I gonna find a
picture of Mr Know It All?
I don't know, wherever.
You will figure it
out. Just get me a face.
Okay, and the 4th caller gets
a free Mr. Know It All t-shirt.
Patti's right, it is not a big deal.
It's not that I lied...
It's just a picture.
Not even a picture, a drawing.
I doubt anyone would even recognize him.
And even if someone did, it probably
would not make a difference to his life.
An ordinary guy...
Who lives an ordinary dull life.
So, you start with a lie.
A small one.
And now they want the
real Mr Know It All.
There is no real Mr Know It All.
We are in big sh*t.
All we need is a video of the guy.
It'll buy us some time until
How hard will it be?
We'll hire a waiter.
A waiter?
Yeah, a waiter and actor. Whatever.
We'll film the guy and add a voice over.
And what do we do if he
tells everyone he's a fake?
Then, we'll have to kill him.
Okay, that was a joke.
I got it.
One more and then we're even.
Just reminding you.
All done?
Yeah, boss.
I was gonna make sure that little
weasel has sung his last song.
Weasels don't sing.
What?
A canary sings, not a weasel.
You're mixing your metaphores.
What time is it?
Where is Stella? We're gonna be
late for Rocko's kids conformation.
She's always late.
Stella, come one!
Where are you taking me?
What are you wearing?
Uh... A dress?
That looks stupid.
The girl at the store said
So the style these
days is to look stupid?
Come on, you can't go like
that. You gotta change.
We're in a hurry, we're
late and i'm hungry. Please.
Sorry.
It's okay, will you
please just hurry up.
Will you guys do something?
Like fix something...
...paint something, kill
somebody. Just do something.
What's a metaphore?
Excuse me.
I've never done this before, but...
I just wanted to say
that i'm a real fan.
And I love your work.
I can't believe that I have
bumped into you like this.
It was a pleasure to meet you.
Totally Called Cars,
Our pain is your gain.
I'm calling my marker.
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"Please Kill Mr. Know It All" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/please_kill_mr._know_it_all_15992>.
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