Plastic Page #2

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garage five nights a week.

You need to start looking out

for yourself, mate.

Stop letting people take

the piss out of you.

Yeah.

Marcel, it's Harry.

We've got a serious problem.

All right, lads?

Five cards cloned from the garage.

And we rolled a mark.

Picked up another two cards

with pin numbers for both.

You should watch the video, mate.

It's f***ing hilarious...

- Sh*t!

- What?

I lost a life. Game over.

Gents.

Someone please tell me

why's he wearing that.

It's fancy dress tonight.

Wait, don't tell me you lot forgot.

We're still going to that?

Surprisingly epic.

I'm going to the bar.

She the one in your class, isn't she?

Yeah.

The one you said's been checking

you out, which I don't believe.

Yeah.

Then what you doing here?

Stop staring at her like a serial killer

and talk to her.

I'm working up to it.

She's nice, mate.

Almost as fit as Fordy's sister.

My sister's 15, you f***ing paedo.

Give her my number and

tell her to call me in a year.

Yeah, will do. Cheers, Rafa.

She's been dreaming about meeting

a bell-end that works in a petrol station

since she was a little girl.

All right.

Oh, for f***'s sake.

You snooze, you lose.

I swear my man's an apex predator.

Watch him go.

Look, hang on, hang on.

New world record!

Arm touch in under five seconds.

She touched his arm? Big deal.

May as well have been his cock, mate.

Yatesey won't f*** this up.

What the f***?

What are you doing?

What's wrong with you?

Leaving a girl like that at the bar, mate?

You should have taken that sh*t down.

You're a f***in' predator.

That right there is a five date shag, RAF.

Three hours chat for

a kiss good night at her front door.

I'm not looking for a girlfriend right now.

I like her, don't get me wrong.

She'll get done, just not tonight.

Charming. Right.

You going in?

This'll be good viewing.

Sam, good costume.

Thank you. Where's yours?

I didn't have time to change.

I had to come straight from work.

- You got a job.

- I know. Grown up, right?

What do you do?

It's pretty wild, I'm a data processor

for a credit card company.

- Which one?

- X-Cred.

Any chance you can increase

my student limit?

Yeah, you're the third person

to crack that joke tonight.

- Was it funny the first time?

- No.

All right. OK.

Note to self, gotta work on my chat.

Pathetic. It's like watching a little boy.

Come on, let's f*** off.

Want a hit, boys?

Let's do it.

Sausage fest, mate.

You'll just get stoned and

talk sh*t with a bunch of crusties.

Girls out here. Dick soup in here.

So my cousin, he graduated

from Newcastle with a first.

He applied to every law firm in the country

with roughly 6,000 applicants per job.

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