Piled Higher and Deeper

She is being considered for a faculty position at Berkeley right now.

Ok. Computer Science: how did we get away with calling it science?

Um, hello Professor. Um, uh, I was taking a look

at some of your papers, and I think that I might...

...be able...uh...

Who are you?

Oh, I'm uh-- I'm uh, a grad student--

[loud snoring]

...and I, uh...

Back in my days, we did not have sixty-four bits.

Not even six bits. We barely had one bit.

And, we did all experiments--everything!--with zero only.

And, it upsampled both ways, left and right.

Yes, I would love to take you as my Ph. D. student.

Really?

Absolutely. Your coursework and experience are perfect for my research interests.

Well that, uh, that's great. I cannot tell you how hard--

Unfortunately, I just got denied tenure.

What?

They're kicking me out! I guess getting published

in the journal Science and landing a fifteen-million-dollar contract

isn't enough around here.

But--

Ok, granted, it was only the Letters section, and I was

the fourteenth co-author on that grant.

Anyways, I'm moving to the middle of the country

to work for a third-tier institution.

I can bring you with me if you like!

Um...?

Uh, Miss T. A.?

Oh, just call me Cecilia.

Uh, yeah. Hey, can I get an extension?

On what?

The homework...

We haven't assigned any yet. It's the first day of class.

Oh, um, then can I get an extension on the extension?

I suppose... Why? Is something the matter?

Uhh...well, I'm just kind of, uh...

...super busy right now. I've got, uh, classes and stuff.

Yeah, of course. No problem. I'm here to help you guys.

"Oh captain, my captain!"

Yeah.

Hey, uh, can I get an extension?

I guess--are you super busy too?

Yeah, kinda. My boyfriend just proposed to me!

And we all went out to celebrate.

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