Personal Services

Synopsis: The story of the rise of a madame of a suburban brothel catering to older men, inspired by the real experiences of Cynthia Payne.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Terry Jones
Production: Image Entertainment
  Nominated for 2 BAFTA Film Awards. Another 1 win.
105 min

- You are subletting, yes?

- I suppose so.

To what kind of person you are subletting?

Same as a lot of the other flats in this block.

You should know.

- Prostitutes.

- Tarts.

I see.

You're doing all right here.

All these flats. What a racket.

Oh, pa pa pa pa pa.

Miss Painter,

what are you going to do about the rent?

I have a son at school, private school.

I have to pay the fees.

I'll give it to you next week.

Why wait until next week?

Give me a week.

Why wait until next week

when you can pay me now?

I can't pay you now.

The rent, Miss Painter.

It must be paid.

One way or another.


I had a sexual encounter with my landlord today.

- What brought that on?

- The rent.

Mr Popozogolou.

That's his name.

Christine, get rid of 'em.

- What?

- Those flats. Get rid of 'em, all of 'em.

- She's right, Christine.

- If the cows paid the rent...

They won't pay the rent.

You're the only ones that ever pay.

Look, bugger the girls.

You get rid of those flats.

Dolly, have a look at this.

Ain't that lovely?

- I could live in that.

- Yeah.

- Here.

- What's this for?

- It's a bit extra.

- You've already paid. You can't pay twice.

We've been using your living room

as well as your bedroom.

We've been off our feet.

- And I'm away for the next two weeks.

- Is that next week?

It's the next two weeks. I told you.

I'm Saudi Arabia this weekend,

and then off down to Ron's mum in Brighton.

Saudi Arabia?

- For the weekend.

- For the weekend?

- She's got a sheik in Saudi Arabia.

- 104 if he's a day.

- Flies me out when he gets randy.

- Once every two years.

What about your sugar daddy?

The one with the big car.

He's got loads of money. What's his name?


- Sydney.



- What's BCSD?

- Big car, small dick.

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David Leland

David Leland (born 20 April 1947) is a film director, screenwriter and actor who came to international fame with his directorial debut Wish You Were Here in 1987. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"Personal Services" STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 14 Nov. 2019. <>.

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