Pauly Shore Is Dead Page #3

I'll call you in the morning|when I find out what the ratings are.

Mitch. Mitch, wait.

I just wanna say|thanks for everything.

Listen, Pauly, everything we've worked|so hard at in the last eight years...

- is comin' together just as planned, buddy.|- Yeah. [ Chuckles ]

stinky, bud-dy. I know.

stinky piece of sh*t, bud-dy.

Goin' down the toilet, bud-dy.|The f*** that guy does.

I'll tell you what he does.

He exists.|He lives.

He could be incinerated by the heat|from a thousand suns--

it would be too good.

The second somebody put a f***in'|microphone in his hand, and they said...

''Hey, it's okay to talk,'' that's|when the f***in' trouble began.

If my mommy owned a comedy club,|I'd be on f***in' top, too, motherf***er.

- [ Pauly ] Trevorina,you're the|architect to the stars, right?|- [ Woman ] Absolutely.

How long do these sitcoms|keep you workin' for?

What is it--|five, 1 0, 1 5 years?

- [ Phone Ringing ]|- How many episodes did the network order?

- six.|- [ Phone Continues Ringing ]

Wait. What are you doing?|Give me back my pen.

- six episodes?|-Just to start with. They're|gonna order more episodes.

- It's your manager.|- Hey. Hey, Mitch.

Pauly, you are not|gonna believe this.

- Are you sittin' down?|- Yeah.

- It was the lowest-rated show in Fox history.|- What?

Yeah. It didn't even|break the top 1 00.

What about people|in the middle of the country?

I don't know. They're pinheads.|I guess they're watchin' Springer reruns.

That's okay, that's okay.|'Cause it's the pilot episode.

It took seinfeld|a year to catch on.

Pauly, uh, brace yourself.|Are you braced?

- Yeah, I'm braced.|- They canceled your sitcom.

''Canceled''?

-Just like that?|- Hey, come on. Did you read the reviews?

- You told me not to.|- Entertainment Monthly gave it an ''F.''

They said, and I quote,|''sucks worse than gravity.''

So they're not even|gonna air episode two?

You've been preempted|by When Animals Attack.

- I could be attacked by animals.|- Hold it, Pauly.

I got another call.|I gotta take it.

- Maybe it's the network. I'll hold.|- As a matter of fact, it is.

- I got another show in the works with them.|- starring who?

I don't know.|It's my production deal.

How'd you get|your own production deal?

Well, you know, by, uh,|producing your show.

Look, Pauly,|I'll tell you what.

This afternoon,|I got some time, I'll call MTV.

I'll see if I can|get you back on.

Look, that's the last thing I'm gonna do|is go crawlin' back to MTV, okay?

- Gotta go.|- Don't you hang up on me!

-[ Dial Tone ]|-[ Pauly, Screaming ] Fuuuuck.!

[ David ] Listen, why don't we take|a drive to Santa Barbara...

grab some lunch,|clear the mind.

You might be a little shook up|by the news of the sitcom.

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