Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 Page #3

RECEPTIONISTAbsolutely... Mr. Blart.

BLARTMr. Blart...

(chuckles to himself)

I’m sure you were thrown by the

travel wear. It’s actually

Officer. People often forget

there’s a human face to law

enforcement.

Maya’s horrified.

RECEPTIONISTOh. Okay... sorry about that.

(then)

Oh, yes... “Officer” Blart, I see

we have you in a partial mountain

view and you requested a

“bottomless” bowl of Peanut

M&M’s...

BLARTI didn’t... my doctor probably...

it’s strictly medicinal.

Unfortunately, I am cursed with

hypo-glycemia. “The hidden hell.”

Sugar level drops and so do I.

RECEPTIONISTOkay.

BLART(not letting it go)

It is okay because... fun fact for

ya... Author Stephen King and

comedian Sinbad, // R&B diva Patty

LaBellealso have hypo-glycemia.

So, I’m in pretty good company.

RECEPTIONISTOf course.

(taps a few more keys)

Ooh... I’m sorry, but your room

isn’t ready yet. In fact, we don’t

have you checking in until three.

But you can leave your luggage and

I will have it delivered to the

room.

MAYADad, I’m starving. Can we just get

some lunch?

BLARTWhoa! Hold the mayo.

(to receptionist)

(MORE)

8.

David Kaminow

SPE CONFIDENTIALDavid Kaminow

SPE CONFIDENTIAL

I’m sure you didn’t know this,

uh...

(reads name tag)

Heath, but if you check the Grand

ballroom and see what group’s

booked there tonight, I think your

tune might change a wee bit...

The receptionist HITS A KEY, reads the screen.

RECEPTIONISTMini-Kiss... the cover band.

BLARTWow, they’re good.

RECEPTIONISTYes, they are.

BLARTYeah, I’m not with them. Is there

a manager, I could talk to?

RECEPTIONISTI’m sorry she’s not available right

now.

Blart makes a decision... SIGHS.

BLARTAlright... I hate doing this.

Blart reaches in his SHOULDER BAG.

MAYAOh no, Dad... not the maga--

BLARTSorry dumplin’, got no choice.

MAYA(to receptionist)

Terrace Cafe open for lunch?

RECEPTIONISTYes it is.

MAYAI’m out.

Maya goes.

Blart drops the MAGAZINE on the counter and then with GREAT

FANFARE turns it to face the receptionist and SLOWLY SLIDES

it towards him.

BLART (CONT'D)

9.

David Kaminow

SPE CONFIDENTIALDavid Kaminow

SPE CONFIDENTIAL

RECEPTIONISTI’m sorry sir, what am I looking

at?

BLART“Perimeter Check,” the official

trade journal of the security

industry, Feb. ‘09.

RECEPTIONISTDid you print this yourself?

BLARTAbsolutely not -- it’s published bi-

annually. Big seller in Canada.

(then)

Take a gander at the inside of the

back cover, I think it should clear

things up.

RECEPTIONIST(reading)

“Say goodbye to toenail fungus...”

BLARTOpposite page... toward the bottom.

RECEPTIONIST:

Oh.

(then)

Is that you?

BLARTIt is.

(leans in)

This is not public information, but

it seems I’m going to be delivering

the keynote speech at the Security

Officer convention, tonight.

RECEPTIONIST(remembering)

Oh you know, I think they cancelled

that...

(checks computer)

Wup, no, they didn’t. But it was

downsized to conference room “C”.

Nope, “F.”

The Receptionist retrieves a MAP, and opens it.

RECEPTIONIST (CONT’D)

Okay, here’s a map of our property.

Blart looks at it quickly and slides it back.

10.

David Kaminow

SPE CONFIDENTIALDavid Kaminow

SPE CONFIDENTIAL

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