Paper Man Page #3

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[water running]

- What are you doing?

- You ass!

How did you get in here?

- The door was open,

which is extremely unsafe,

by the way.

- You don't need to keep

checking up on me.

- lsn't this the guy you said

was following you?

Who does that?

- You do.

lt's just babysitting.

- Where's the kid?

- He doesn't have a kid.

- Abby, this guy is a perv.

We got to get out of here now.

- Okay, he's a famous writer,

okay?

Get a life.

- You are my life.

[water running]

You've got a problem with men.

- No, I have got

a problem with you.

- What about Bryce?

- What about him?

- He treats you like sh*t

- When?

- Always.

- No.

- Yes.

- Shut up.

- Oh, you are not

- l'm not what?

- What are you doing?

- Making soup.

- You've known this stalker guy

five minutes.

You're already making him soup?

- l told you, Christopher.

He is a writer.

- l love you.

- [sighs]

- What are you doing out here?

- l told her 9:
00, 9:30.

- No, l mean what are you doing

out here with the girI?

- Nothing.

- That doesn't strike you

as odd somehow?

A babysitter?

- l'm under a lot of pressure,

okay, to produce.

People expect literature:

the doctor, my publisher.

l've got three months,

three months to crack

this thing.

- And the girl helps how?

- Was l popular in high school,

in retrospect?

- And the girl helps how?

- Do you have to question

every decision I make?

- Make better decisions.

- Just do the voice.

- Oh.

Oh, now he needs me.

- At this juncture, yes.

- Juncture?

- Yes.

- Oh.

- Yes, just do it

[triumphant music]

- [booming voice]

When the world is in peril,

when evil surrounds you,

when danger is lurking,

who do you call?

[horns trumpeting]

Captain Excellent!

- l'm bolstered!

[hooting and chittering sounds]

There's something out there

in the woods.

- Oh, my God.

The wolf.

Didn't you hear?

lt escaped from the zoo

this morning.

- There's a zoo here?

- [laughs]

No, l'm just

[groans]

WeII, whatever it is,

l won't let it get you.

Come on, there's soup.

- What?

- Yeah, l made soup.

l thought that you might

be cold.

What did you do tonight?

- l went to the shore,

did some thinking.

- Oh, for three hours

in the freezing cold?

- You made this?

- Yeah.

- How?

- l don't know.

A couple of carrots,

an onion, one of your beers.

Oh, l hope that's okay.

l just kind of helped myself.

- No, it's fantastic.

- Oh, well, you haven't even

tasted it yet

- No, no, no, l mean,

the fact of it is fantastic,

that you made something

from nothing.

- Oh, you can, you know,

kind of make soup

out of anything.

That's the great thing about it

Just whatever's Ieft

laying around, you know.

You can take all the crap

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