Out to Sea Page #4

Meet your cruise director and enjoy

the music and drinks and prizes.

Herbie.

Herbie, I know you're upset now,

but in a few days...

you'll be thanking me.

Listen, Charlie.

What is in this for you?

Now, tell me, and no sh*t

because I'm too tired.

Okay, fine. You remember

my old pal Tony? Tony.

- Anthony Caldoni?

- Yeah.

The mail fraud guy.

First of all,

those charges were dropped.

But more importantly,

guess what he's doing today?

I don't give a rat's ass.

He's married to one

of the richest broads in Palm Beach.

And guess how they met?

One, two, cha-cha-cha.

- One, two...

- No way, Jose.

Just wake me up at the first port of call.

That's where I'm gettin' off.

- I hate to see you do this, Herbie.

- Why is that, Charles?

Because if you don't dance,

you lose your employee status...

and that means you gotta pay for the whole

cruise... that's 2,500 smackaroonies.

You son of a b*tch! You're the one

who should be paying.

Will the dance hosts

please report to the main ballroom.

Herbie, they're playing our song.

Ahem.!

Very nice hair.

Right.

Nails. Cut 'em. Uh!

Let me. Thank you.

Excellent, Mac.

Jonathan, clip the ear hair.

- I beg your pardon?

- Ear hair!

I'm very skeptical of dance hosts

who can't keep time.

- Mister...

- Me? Sullivan, Herb.

- Uh, and that's Gordon, Charles.

- Lovely.

Sorry we were late, but,

uh, it's a very big boat.

This boat... happens to be

the flagship vessel...

of the world's premiere cruise line,

and I am the cruise director.

Sir, yes, sir!

I've a feeling you two

are going to be trouble.

- Oh...

- No. We're pussycats.

For your sake,

I hope...

Is that cologne

or Armor All?

That's close, close. It's cologne,

but I bought it at a gas station.

I've got my eye on you.

You're not so bad yourself.

All right.

Gentlemen, we're

30 seconds from intros.

Now, remember that you

are the representatives of this ship...

and will, at all times, behave

in a manner appropriate thereto.

You will be courteous

and respectful at all times.

When the music stops, you will

escort your partner back to her seat.

And above all, you will not

fraternize privately...

with the guests

at any time.

- Uh, no.

- If you do, it's grounds for immediate dismissal.

Permission to speak, sir.

Denied. Mac, mike.

- Who's Mac Mike?

- I don't know.

Ohh, yes!

Ladies and gentlemen,

the M. S. Westerdam proudly presents...

your cruise director...

the very talented...

Mr. Gil Godwyn!

Thank you!

Can't believe it. The man

actually opens for himself.

Thank you so very much.

Aren't they absolutely marvelous?

Thank you. Thank you.

- Very good. Very good.

- Thank you.

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